A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi there agony aunts and uncles back again, cause you do give me good advice all the time and put my mind at rest, if it sounds a little mixed up its cause i am mixed up. i am due to move nearer my man been ldr for over two years, so you can imagine we are both excited of been together more, when i say i am moving nearer yes i will have my own house but be at his mostly all the time ,we have one kid each from our ex partners same age they get on have there bickers like probably normal blood families would, the problem is my child has had a different bringing up to his, his child has had to be more independant due to not having mum around just dad, my child hasnt has had me around so has depended on me most the time, when it was just me i thought my child is the perfect kid, dont see any problems with table manners or how silly my child can be, but once meeting my man with his child see it more as i said will be living with him mostly, but a problem his child dont want my child living there at all, we have stayed there when visited, but a few things his child dont like, says my child has bad habits at the table, (but with the help of me getting better) does not like my child going into her bedroom and touching stuff ,( i have told my child not to touch anything in her room just to sit and watch or wait till you can touch things in her room ,also she gets fed up of my child pestering to always play ,and she told her dad cause he told me that once she has had enough of my child at her house , then she has to go home thats the house i will be living at, but am i wrong to say to my man and i did say it i was quite upset, that yeh thats fine, but she cant think that once she has had enough of my child can send her home all the time, cause if me and my man are having a laugh and a good time cause we always do have that connection enjoy each others company looking forward to having more of each others company, and his child says i dont want her here now i want her to go home, i wont like that, cause i will have to go she is part of me, and i dont want his child to do that, cause not only is his child pushing my child away it pushes me away too, so i just hope that his child does adapt to my child living there ,inspite of my childs ways, cause my child is getting better i dont want to move up there nearer him and be not spending a lot of time with him cause of his child maybe not wanting my child at her house there all the time, how do you go about this one ,it quite upset me in away, will be big changes all round my man said after i had said what i had said to him, for all of us but once we get a routine going i think things will be fine, i am already looking for a job so that i am out at work , but my worry is i just hope his child can adapt ,cause i dont want his child to put a wedge between me and my man ,we love each other very much and plan one day to marry, even though his child has said she never wants my child, to be her step sister which that upset me too am i doing right moving nearer will we end up been one happy family. please any advice
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 As young as they are you will be dealing with this for many years to come. The only way parents can survive is to be an united front. Kids are like Raptors, if they spy a weakness they'll go for it. You and your boyfriend need to really hash this situation out and come up with a game plan. Both girls need to be aware of the boundaries and when they are over the line. It will be harder for you because they are the same age. But until your boyfriend and you see eye to eye about the kids it isn't going to work.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): they are 9
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (19 October 2011):
How old are these girls?
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