A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry for the length, any advice is really appreciated. 6 1/2 years ago I met a women who from the moment we were introduced I felt a connection and we clicked, for 2 years from that initial point I questioned my feelings towards this person, as I had never doubted my sexuality and needed to stop kidding myself of the feelings I had. It was then I found the courage to write to this person and tried to explain how I felt as I just needed to get it off my chest. The big thing being I had developed this friendship with my P.E teacher. I felt I was able to write it down and tell her as I had left school and she was no longer my teacher. I never had a reply and it was never mentioned. At first when our paths crossed it was awkward as I could tell she had read it but that soon wore off and we went back to talking and smiling and acknowledging each other. I tried to add her as a friend on a social networking site, facebook but never got accepted. So I left it as I didn't want to come across as if I was stalking, I thought I had blown our friendship and that my feelings would one day pass.Since leaving school 4 1/2 years ago our paths haven't crossed much, only that at the supermarket or now we share some of the same friends as the jobs I've had/career has led me into the same circle of friends, seen as there's only an age difference of 8years. But apart from that we lead and have complete separate lives. However 4 1/2 years on my feelings for her are stronger than ever and I am unable to commit or have/start a relationship with anyone else. It's driving me crazy wondering whether she feels the same or not after all this time, even if nothing can become of it. I know I'm not going completely mad as people have said they saw chemistry there between us. I just don't know what to do, I don't won't to come across as a stalker or a mad women after all this time if she doesn't feel anything but at the same time can someone really have these feelings for this length of time and for them not to return the same feelings at all. I feel I am unable to move forwards it's been 6 1/2 years and what I do know is I love her. What should I do if anything :(
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female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (10 November 2013):
Dear OP
- please, snap out of it!
You don't love that woman, you love an idea of her and you together that never turned into reality. The word "love" is reserved for the kind of affection that has survived the reality of really getting to know someone with their upsides and downsides, with their virtues and flaws. What you describe is some kind of "infatuation".. you just pick out some qualities and features of a person you hardly know, and then in your dreams you complete the picture of a perfect partner.
The reason why you never got over her is simple - you just preferred your dreams over reality. OP, wake up!! Ok, maybe there was some "chemistry", meaning she thought you were cute.. but obviously, you being an ex-student and all didn't really attract her. She wrote it off as a school-girl fling and went on living her life (is she even lesbian? at all?) without you. She didn't even want you as a facebook friend, which is very clear: NO interest in you whatsoever! Yep, she might be polite to you when she bumps into you at the supermarket.. but she probably is just as nice to every other former student of hers.
Please, please OP, I cannot stress this enough. Just look for something new, something real. The first cut is always the deepest. When you find out how love can feel, then that feeling doesn't easily go away. But this is not meant to be, OP, and you're wasting your time and energy here on a hopeless case. I know it's hard to get over that first love.. I suffered for three years.. but you should go ahead, it's worth it.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (8 November 2013):
 I think you left the ball in her court when you sent the letter. Her not responding to it was your answer. If you are not able to move forward in your life then perhaps talking all this over with a therapist will help. They may be able to give you the tools you need to jump start your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2013): Um she doesn't , oro she would have made a move already.
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