A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:2 months ago my 9 year old nephew was bugging me to come down my home so i just said yes without figuring out my bills Iwas supposed to pick him up 2 weeks later but never did do to my mortgage being due .My sisterr in law had a fit and hasnt spoke to me since if she doesnt get her way she wont talk etc .she made me feel like hey forget your mortgage i dont care if you get in trouble .If they wanted him down here and to take him to the beach with the rides etc. why wasnt i called and they send money for gas rides etc .am i right or wrong? ,Iwant to get rid of my brother and his wife out of my life as theres to much expecting me to put money out or there mad .please give me some advice as ive been streesed over this and there still going on and on about it.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 You had two weeks time to pick up the phone and say : I am so sorry, I just realized that right now it's not a good moment for a visit, unluckily we'll have to reschedule .Instead, you just did not show up. This was rude and inconsiderate, the kid must have been disappointed and,they , I think any mom, not just your sister in law, would have been mad.
Actually, since they are family and I guess you don't stand on ceremonies with them, you could have told them what you told us :" I am having money problems, what with the mortgage etc., I'd like to have the kid here, but I cannot afford gas rides treats etc., so you'll have to help me out ".
So, yeah- they may be wrong to go on and on about that- but surely you contributed to create this friction.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 You said yes to your nephew and then you reneged. He was expecting you to collect him 2 weeks later, and you simply didnt show up.
Mortgage payments and other bills dont just turn up out of thin air demanding to be paid. They are expected and can and should be calculated into your spending budget. You would have been aware when you said yes to your nine year old nephew that you could not keep your promise. Why didnt you contact his parents sometime during the two weeks between promising to get him and then simply being a no show and tell them that due to financial contrainsts you wouldnt be able to have him, and make some sort of less expensive compromise?
You need to recognise how your behaviour has added to this current situation.
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