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female
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anonymous
writes: Hello, I've met a guy recently and we get on really well. In this past week he's called me up and talked to me for over 3 hours. It was a fantastic conversation and we talked again the next day too, but only for an hour this time! We've agreed to meet up again this Saturday coming and I feel things are going well, and I think he likes me too (I hope!) However, he has a girlfriend! I spoke to her on instant messaging via his email address and spoke for 5 minutes at the most, when she typed 'I'm bored with you now.' and went offline. So now I know his girlfriend doesn't like me and will probably never talk to me again! I'm now scared that everytime I talk to him on Messenger it's going to be his girlfriend instead, so I won't be able to set a time for Saturday, or even confirm it! I think his girlfriend is a little over-protective even though I'm only a friend, and all three of us are going to the same school next year for sixth form and it's going to be really uncomfortable. What do I do? How can I still talk to this guy when his girlfriend's being like this?I don't want to break up their relationship just for my benefit and I don't want her to hate me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2005): Can I ask why you're persuing a guy who has a girlfriend? Don't you think it would benefit you to take a step back from this "great guy" who has no problem spending 3 hours text messaging you without his g/f knowing? Please don't invest any more of your time in someone who A) Is already in a relationship with a girl of his own and B) May turn out to text message you behind your back if you give him the chance!
There are plenty of awesome fish in the sea!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2005): Are you that bored with your own social life that you have to talk with this guy for 3 hours on messenger? You said youself, "I think he likes me too (I hope!)" You have a crush on this guy...so of course, his gf doesn't like you-she's feeling threatened! He should be focusing his Saturday nights on her and not texting other women on messenger. Put yourself in her shoes, hun. I really think you want this flirtation and the thrill of pursuing him, and you don't care what that does to this guy's relationship.
I'm wondering if you ever did think of the reprecussions would be if his gf found out about you. She likely feels very hurt, confused and is suffering with self-doubts. I honestly think you are hopeful that he'll find you more appealing. I doubt anything will change what you are doing, but I am curious about what eventually happens. Let me know how painfully hurt and devastated she will be, when you finally succeed in getting her guy.
Dear, whether you are doing this purposely or not, you are interfering in their relationship and you need to back off.
So what can you do? Delete him off your contact list or block him. If you know without a doubt, the gf is upset-then do the most respectable, dignified thing for yourself, for her,for him and their relationship by simply-leaving him alone. Focus on all your other good friends..get out and enjoy life-be happy. Preserve your integrity and move on to better more creative, inspiring things to do with your time. Quit chatting to other girl's
boyfriend's on messenger. Go out and have fun! Take care dear and I hope you do the right thing.
Hugs,
Irish
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A
reader, pops +, writes (19 September 2005):
Back off. YOu can see him in school, as a friend, and not get between him and his gf.
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A
female
reader, daniella +, writes (18 September 2005):
talking to him for three hours i wouldnt like it if my boy friend did that with another girlmaby shes had words with him.
Or maby he likes you and doesnt want to talk that much cause he doesnt want to fall out with his girlfriend. Talk to him i can tell you really like the guy when you meet him talk yo him properly.
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