A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok I'm in my mid 20s as is my bf of 2 years. He cheated on me, physically and emotionally and I found out a couple months ago. I loved him, and took him back even though I knew I wasn't doing the right thing. (We live together in my house).Over the past year almost, I've harmlessly flirted with a male friend, and when my bf cheated I started seeing this guy in a new light. He's also in a relationship, of about 18 months but they don't live together. He's very unhappy with her, (other people have backed this up), and he basically doesn't know how to dump her as she cries when he mentions it. His mum and his friends are even gunning for us to be together.He took me out yesterday and we had an awesome time together and we kissed constantly. I really think I'm falling for him and him for me too. Neither of us have ever been in this kind of situation before and I don't know what to do. I feel bad for his gf too, because however horrible she is, she doesn't deserve to be cheated on.So my questions are...How do I dump my cheating bf when he lives with me and has nowhere to go?How long should I leave it before asking the new guy what he wants and if he does want us to be together? (it's been clear that we like each other and the kisses (kissing only) started a couple weeks ago, not even).Thanks for reading. I'm sorry if I come across as doing exactly what my bf did to me. I don't consider myself a bad person, I just feel very confused.
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female
reader, Probablylucy  +, writes (14 November 2010):
 If you decide to end it with the current boyfriend, will he really be homeless? chances are he'll land on his feet, and find somewhere else to live. It sounds like whatever's happening, you and your current bf are not happy. Cheating is a sign that something isnt right, and unfortunately, from what i'm seeing it sounds like this relationship isnt going so well. If you have both cheated on each-other, I would suggest that you need to either seriously talk and make a decision to make a committed effort from now on, or end it. Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with him?
As for this other guy, would you be willing to give up your current situation for him? as in, give up your boyfriend and house-mate?
And regarding the 'how long' question, maybe it's time to step back a bit. If you tell both parties that you 'need time' then you can have an objective view without being completely immersed in the problem. You never know, you might see a solution if you take a pause. You don't have to make any decisions straight away. If this new guy is really into you, he will hang around for you.
Bets of luck and hope everything turns out okay :)
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