A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedlover10
writes: my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 7mths now. we're freshmen in college. we don't get to spend time together b/c he's been online with frats all year. he's trying to rush everything with this frat stuff and he can't be patient enough to wait until his sophomore or jr. yr., at least until his grades improve. his grades are extremely low and all of his time is being taken up b/c he's online with a frat. some nights i stay up doing my homework and his. he won't listen to me when i try to help him or when i explain to him what i see wrong b/c he's so stubborn, so i basically just stopped trying to tlk to him.im not happy at all, and i spend just about all of everyday by myself and it makes me feel worthless. the only time we spend together is when we're sleep. i love him sooo much and i think i've taken all that i can. i don't wanna leave him b/c i know that i will be miserable, worse than what i am now. i cant really talk to him like i really want to b/c he comes in at 5 or 6am every morning and too tired to listen, and when he's not out with the frat, he's sleeping or in class. pleeeease pleeease help me?? i know this may seem a lot but i just don't know who else to really turn to at this point. i feel as though the end will result in us being separated and i really really dont want that to happen. what should i do?! Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): How will not dating him be worse than it is now? You're doing twice the homework, you never see him, and he uses you as a human heating blanket in bed and a personal assistant.
You're alone because you're spending all your time doing double homework and worrying about what your boyfriend is doing. There are so many people to meet at various activities on college campuses. Have you tried getting involved in a special-interest group or hanging out with other people who live in your residence hall?
Stop doing this guy's homework, start making him sleep in his own bed and dump him. Devoting every second of every minute of every hour of every day to a fraternity is harming your relationship, and it's clear he doesn't realize that if he isn't listening when you try to tell him.
It will be hard not having a boyfriend after 7 months, yes, but I can promise that if you get involved on campus, it will get much, much better for you.
How do I know? I've seen similar situations over and over again. I was an RA.
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