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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: hi i have a friend thats a boy and i am starting to like him as more than a friend. the thing is he doesnt hang around with me and my friends cos he's kind of a geek :(he hangs around with the geeks. so none of my mates are friends with him.anyway, he flirts with me by poking me and pushing into me and stuff. and i want to do that back but im embarressed cos my friends will think i fancy him and think im really weird for flirting back with him. I know i do fancy him but i dont want anyone to know that!what shall i do about this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2006): Hey Ms. 16-17, I know some pretty powerful, wealthy, compassionate, and handsome geeks/nerds. Of course, they don't look anything like how they used to back in high school. In fact, sometimes, pettiness aside, it's kind of gratifying to see someone who once bullied you in high school work in a department a few levels under you. [wink]
However, I know you're still young and going through that particular phase. I'm sure SoulSista's comments would work well if you were a bit older and more refined in character. Alas, you're still a bit youngish, so understandable.
Well you can't do anything per se. Since looking good in high school is one of the primary mechanics of high school politics [shudder]. So what can you do? Forget about him. Sure, it's harsh and 'unfair' to him, but hey, you're kid who gets influenced by how others think of you.
A
female
reader, xxx Jill xxx +, writes (10 December 2006):
I completely understand where you are coming from because ye we can't deny it our friends opinions are important to us and our image but believe me in a few years time at least half of these friends you will not even remember their names. Would it really be so bad to give this guy a chance if you both like each other think of it as being an individual and not planning your whole life around what you think your mates would say this is your life and your happiness not theirs hope everything works out for you xx jill xx
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A
female
reader, jodie730 +, writes (9 December 2006):
 u shud do wat ur heart says not was ya friends say. u cant choose who u lyk but but u can choose ur friends u shud tell ur friends u lyk him and if they dnt lyk it they arent ur real friends
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2006): i asked the question: i dont think he's ugly, i just said everyone else thinks he's ugly.
i am attracted to him because i like his personality. so now thats made his looks grow on me and i dont think he's ugly.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis  +, writes (9 December 2006):
 I dont think you are a bad person, but people are not ugly on the outside. Just because you may not like a persons looks, does not mean they are ugly. You are attracted to this guy for some reason. When you figure out why you are attracted to him, you will realise that he isn't ugly at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2006): hi i asked this question: thanks for the advise. and no its not cos he's really clever that he's a geek. its cos he is ugly - well to everyone he is ugly. but i dont care about looks and only go for personality.
ok, i am not a bad person and i do except him for who he is. i just feel embarressed flirting with him. but u have all persuaded me to just flirt with him lol :D thank you.
i would still like more advise and comments though thank you.
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A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (9 December 2006):
What makes him a geek? Hard worker? Intelligent? Knows what he wants in life?
Don't even think of a relationship with him if you dont accept him for who he is.
When I was at school, it was bad to actually care about your education. The geeks at my school were the ones who went on to sail through their exams and went on to high flying jobs. The 'cool' people are now working at McDonalds or on the dole.
Life is what you make it and it starts at school. Looking back, it was 'cool' to be a geek.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (9 December 2006):
 I think you need to stop playing silly school games and be big enough to stand up for the guy you like and stand by it. People are always going to call those no in the 'in crowd' but it's all so childish and pathetic, they're usually really nice people who just enjoy different things to you.
You might regret it in the future if he ends up happy with someone else. You shouldn't let these silly stereotype groups to rule who you are with, prove to your friends that he's a great guy and just have a good time, don't worry about what others might say.
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