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male
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anonymous
writes: As a man, I don't understand why women have this big problem with porn. Porn itself is not the problem. It the person. I look at porn 5-6 times a week. I watch some movies, read stories and Jerk off about 6 times a week. Also make love with my wife 3-4 times a week. As much as she wants too. I have a stronger drive. But instead of driving her nuts for more sex or cheating with another woman. I sit down watch a movie and wack off! Now whats the problem?? I'm 40 years old. Now I don't through it in her face and I am respectable to her. I don't watch porn with her, because she has told me she does not like it. And I respect that. So if your husband or BF is taking care of what you cannot handle, thank him. He is doing you the favor!!!
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female
reader, looneytune +, writes (25 July 2006):
Hello,
I have been married for years and my husband and I will occasionally get "frisky" and watch some porn. The only problem that I have found with porn is that the women seem to be far more "abused" if you will in terms of what happens in porn movies. From a womans standpoint...I feel like I am being jipped basically because it is pretty much the girl being showed all the time and not the man. We have found that there are very few "female friendly" porn movies out there. Does that help?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2006): And may I add that the usual aunts have a nice round of comments as usual... 8]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2006): listen mate am a girl and i find nothing rong with porn, however my boyfriend prefers me over porn anyday so i have no worries. and all girls need to know is boys will be boys and more often than not itz girls secretly into porn, but love to have a go at their boyfriends, like true cranks.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2006): I used to like porn but now I've developed a perspective where I find it disgusting and can no longer stand to look at it. Mostly due to the fact that my girlfriend felt the need to tell me about her somewhat 'colourful' sexual history. When I see pictures of multiple guys having sex with one girl or girls having sex in degrading circumstances it reminds me of her. I wish I didn't have to think of the girl I love in those situations.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (12 July 2006):
 LOL snowbird!!
Porn is ok as long as it doesn't encrouch on a normal *healthy* loving sexual relationship. It IS a problem when one or the other partner begins to feel threatened or devalued by it.
Anyway your view is a little narrow *male anon*. A lot of women do not feel threatened by porn and have no problem with watching the male variety.......
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A
female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (6 July 2006):
 In answer to Wendyg's question - (he was probably busy - you know it's not easy to type with just the one hand!!!)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2006): The answers you have so far explain why women have a problem with porn - and you can see their point.on the other hand as you might well know yourself, not all porn is degrading to women, not all porn has 'ideal' women in it. loads of porn now is ordinary people writing or acting out fantasies on the internet. and for every person who thinks women are a set of holes to be filled by bored looking men stillwearing their socks... there are many more who have more imagination and respect for women. i don't know what you think though - it still seems too often lackingimagination or in fact lust - which is like writing romance novels without the romance... plus i still think though the cameras always linger on the women, even when they're obviously being pleasured and not roughed up- and i would like to see more emphasis on the men's sexuality and men's bodies. but maybe things will change with time...
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (4 July 2006):
 You said this: Porn itself is not the problem. It the person. I look at porn 5-6 times a week. I watch some movies, read stories and Jerk off about 6 times a week
WRONG. Porn is absolutely vile and disgusting and as a woman I find it abominable and degrading and disgusting. What possible gain do you get from watching it? Thats my opinion, I am not judging you mate, but for me, porn is filth and ALWAYS will be. xXx
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (4 July 2006):
 Hmm Mr Anon got his responses to his question... but didnt reply back with any of his views... Wonder why!?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2006): How can you say you are respectful to your girlfriend when you support an industry that degrades women and encourages men to view them according to pathetic ideas of what is attractive????
True beauty is in the eyes of a woman you love not some sad image of a flawless 20yr old.... You have no resepct for you partner, yourself or ANY woman you have ever met if you think porn is aceptable...GROW UP
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A
female
reader, Hot (Advice) +, writes (27 June 2006):
 Soft porn seems like something just to tide a man over until he gets a real woman, but it actually ends up creating an insatiable craving for an endless array of artificial, touched-up images such that no human can ever satisfy the addict. When porn’s slimy tentacles begin to invade our brain, men are usually unaware that their longing for a real woman is being insidiously replaced by a dehumanizing bondage to artificial images. Porn reduces its victims to junkies addicted not only to perpetual youth but to endless variety and to airbrushed fantasies. Their lust for the unnatural grows to the point where even the sexiest woman alive could not quell their craving for longer than perhaps a few days. What seems a harmless pastime ends up being very damaging to long-term relationships.
Even in those marriages not utterly destroyed by such things as leering, porn and live sex shows, it seems inevitable that such indulgence will at least detract from even the best relationship, such as lowering a man’s appreciation and enjoyment of his wife’s body. I frequently have married men writing to me lamenting the detrimental effect their addiction to porn has had on their marriage.
Although it is not impossible for a woman to fall into the porn trap, the deception most likely to destroy a woman’s ability to have good relationships is romantic fiction. Just as no real woman can compete with the synthetic images of porn, no real man can compete with the fictional men typically portrayed in novels, movies and soapies. And no matter how good the marriage, the exhilaration of romantic love fades, just as surely and even quicker than the certainty that a woman’s beauty will eventually fade.
Even research into human chemistry affirms this as a fact of life. Any woman repeatedly feeding a longing for the short-lived thrill of romantic ecstasy is setting herself up for heart-breaking disappointment. Moreover, if she assumes it’s her man, rather than her fantasy, that is at fault, she could end up staggering from relationship to relationship, wreaking havoc wherever she goes.
Does this seem cynical and pessimistic? The romantic illusion is powerful and there isn't space here to provide the supporting evidence to assist people under its spell,
People who surrender to porn or romantic fiction tease themselves like tortured people drinking more and more thirst-inducing salty water in a desperate attempt to quench an ever-increasing thirst. Moreover, they ruin their taste for normal sustenance.
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A
female
reader, pashun8tly +, writes (27 June 2006):
what if us women went on a strike on our men due to some inappropriate action, locally, nationally then globally? what havoc would that cause?
i always think that the problem that feeds men's perception of women is fed by the media and there in fact, lies the deadly cycle...this gets passed down to our sons...etc. even us women subscribe to the notion and then in turn contribute to this dilemma.
gotta love hugh heffner for revolutionizing men's libido to new heights. but even sexually uninhibited women shown in pornos are just mere puppets for mens' whim and fancy and it does not necessarily make them "free"...
but any way as far as oggling, what's good for the goose is good for the gander...so let's exploit men & see how it feels! how bout that thought? sure they'll think it's cute for a little bit, but let's judge them by the size of their cocks, and hoot and holler & tell them to take it off, let's give them a few centuries of this, maybe they'll become what we are today!
don't let those balding, beer gutted fool tell us what's hot or what's not! let's empower ourselves ladies every chance we get. let's start our own movement by our setting own rules and have the tables turn on them. tired of this submissive role crap...let them take it up the ass and see how they like it! to hell with slime buckets who can't find satisfaction with mere love--there's no separation of state...
men who have to wack off to pornos when they have a loving, supporting wife that he so kindly fucks 3-4 times a week just to abide her, should not be wondering why we women have the problem!
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A
female
reader, dummyduckling +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Women tend to feel threatend by the models in porn as most of the time your partner will feel like there imperfections compared to those models will stop them from bng attractive in the mans eyes and are normaly feeling like the guy is interested in other girls and not in them i genrally dont have a problem but i think its just your wife araid that you will go off of her because of the way the models look in the porn movies.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Not all men react to porn the way you do. Some men get so addicted that they ignore their partners needs in favor of "wacking off" to porn instead. That's when the problems begin. Plus many women feel threatened by the unrealistic perfection of the models at the porn sites. Many feel that when they do have sex with their partners he isn't really into them but rather fantasizing about one of the porn stars. It's all a matter of degree and each case is different. But let me ask you this...if your wife felt uncomfortable with your porn activities would you be willing and able to stop for her sake?
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (26 June 2006):
Its not always the case that the male is paying as much attention to his wife, thats when women dont like it. If a man whacks off to porn as you put it but is still paying as much attention to her then i dont see there is a problem. It does become a problem however if the male is looking at porn and not having sex with his partner, she then feels that the porn is taking over and shes not good enough. It de sensitives some men and they get used to whacking off and some get to the stage of not making the effort when it comes to his partner. If there is an equal balance then i dont see there to be a problem as i know that men view them in a different box so to speak and wouldnt compare thier woman to an image on the screen. Some men however do get a little lazy and after being on this site a couple of years i have come to see that alot of men do seek porn out and then neglect thier partners, even those that would like to look at porn with their man, the man cant be bothered he got his rocks off so would he care. Whilst the same cant be said for all men, it does concern a lot women that thier man is going to end up not wanting them because he has extensive viewing, some can see thier point others cant. I for one dont have an issue with porn, but would if my man were to pay more attention to that than me. It wouldnt be called doing her a favour if she wasnt getting any attention in the bedroom at all and for alot of women its not for the want of trying its just thier man has a different mindset.
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