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I don't understand why I go bone dry!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am a 21 year old lesbian in a serious relationship with my partner. Everything in our relationship is perfect, we love eachother very much, the sex is great, we live together, which is also going great, we're soul mates, the whole sha bang really is just perfect. Except we've come up against a bit of a problem which is quite embarrassing. I can't stay wet. It's not that I don't fancy my partner, I love her to bits and think she's the sexiest woman on the planet. And it's not that I dont want to have sex; I do. But when we get going, we both get wet, and the anticipation builds, and then all of a sudden I go bone dry. It leaves me annoyed and frustrated because I'm still really horny. I don't get whats happening - before this we were always fine sex wise. I'm not unhealthy. I'm a healthy weight, eat properly, am very active, go for walks and everything and am on no long term medication. Why am I struggling to get wet? Should just buy some lube or could there be an underlying health problem? This is really getting me down and I'm worried my partner will think it's a slant on her when it is 100% not. I love her to pieces. All I want to do is make love but everything my head and heart tell me i want to, I get wet, then at the crucial moment, go bone dry. Please help :(

View related questions: horny, lesbian, soul mates, soulmate

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011):

Oh I loved your posting, so human, so feeling! It's irrelevant that you're lesbian, you love your partner, you're turned on, horny, your relationship is' perfect ' but unfortunately US humans are NOT perfect!

I should imagine you spend lots of time pleasing each other, experimenting, and initially the juices are flowing, but after a while, become a little less obvious, quite normal I assure you. Please, please don't worry, we can only keep on producing natural lubrication for so long, then we take a break for a while, then it comes back again..in between get yourself some lubes and play, play, play..

Don't let this come between you, no need, just enjoy what you have with your lovely partner, and make sure you tell her you love her!

Long may you relationship blossom and grow..

Jilly x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011):

"then all of a sudden I go bone dry"

First off, reassure your partner that you know that it isn't her, and do this at a time when sex isn't happening and she isn't recovering from it happening.

Why? Because it isn't her, and she needs to know that and you need to know that or it can destroy the relationship.

I've dealt with this in my spouse, and believe me if you ever deal with this you will believe with all your heart that it is you no matter what the partner says, so understand that.

Then, figure out why.

Have you been?: Raped, Abused, Neglected, Drug Addiction, Using Prescription Medications, Using Illicit Drugs or especially Marijuana and Alcohol, Etc.

If sex abuse, neglect, or rape, then get the following book and read it carefully and get a counselor to help.

http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Sex-Mind-Body-Approach-Sexual/dp/1573442933

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