A
female
age
41-50,
*arah1983
writes:HiI was in a relationship for 6 years with the father of my 2 year old girl. We split up last July through his choice. He believed he didn't love me because he kept looking for something else in other women, he kissed two girls during the last few years and always came back and told me through guilt. He was scared he would eventually cheat due to him having other love interests and decided to end our relationship because he never wanted to hurt me. We were seperated for a few months and got back together in November and split again in March. He was working with a young lady for a week in February and feelings grew between them, so he ended it with me before anything happened. My ex and I have a wonderful relationship still but are no longer a couple.He is now planning a future with this lady he fell for in February. They have moved in together but are living with his father at the momont but have a house waiting. I don't get involved with them as a couple because I am not ready. And he has never pushed for his new girlfriend to see his daughter. He spends time with us as a family, rather than take our daughter away. He tells me he loves me and misses me. He said to me the other day do you not think we get along better now, I said we always got along but you just don't feel trapped anymore. He replied with maybe I see it for what it is now. He added on the same day that if we were to ever get back together that he wouldnt move back into my house (that's because he had a falling out with my landlord). I thought this was a strange thing to say and I assumed maybe he was having doubts about his new relationship.He also says that if his new relationship doesnt work he will not want to pursue a new one.He takes me out for lunch and takes me to the pictures and says that he feels that his girlfriend doesnt understand why he would want to spend time with just me, rather than me and our daughter. I get along great with his family still and my ex and I are the best of friends. While he has been with his new girlfriend we have sleep together. What I dont understand is he will cheat on his new girlfriend with me but left me because he was scared he would cheat. I have new interests but havent said yes to any of them as yet because I dont feel ready but it is nice to know they are there. I would love to have my family unit back together, I guess my question is does anyone think there's a chance? I love him, we get along great and know we could be happy. I have never begged him to come home. He asked me if I was ok about them moving in together and I actually begged him to do it, in the hope that once the honey moon period was over, he would relise that what he was looking for doesnt last for ever. He was looking for that feeling you feel when you first fall in love but eventually that feeling fades in every relationship and turns into something else.
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female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He's not ready for the responsibility that comes with being in a relationship with you, but still wants the benefits of one. Sleeping with him isn't going to win him back, you're only allowing yourself to be used.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 I honestly dont think there is a choice, this man is getting his cake and eating it, obviously he enjoys your company, but you are in the wrong for sleeping with him, you are disrespecting yourself and off course his poor girlfriend, for all you know he was probably cheatin on you as well. He doesnt seem to want to settle down and he is playing with both of you women, if you really think there is a chance for you to get back together lay some ground rules and dont let him treat you like a piece of dirt. I honestly think you can do so much better than this man.
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