A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I can't seem to get over my ex and don't know if I should try talking to my ex again. We broke up nine months ago and I still have feelings for him. He broke up with me and said it was because he was going to ruin my life. Its a little complicated why he left and I am still not sure exacly what he meant by what he said. I am guessing it is because he has a drug problem. It seemed like he had his mind made up about this but when he left me he kept holding me and telling me what I great friend I am. It was really hard on me and I cried for months. I thought I just felt this way because I lost my virginity to him and that with time I would get over him.Since the breakup he got back together with his ex girlfriend and I heard they fight all the time. I was in one serious relationship but it didn't work out and I just got in another relationship three weeks ago. I really like the guy I am dating and can see it going somewhere, but I still think about my ex a lot. I thought it must have been because I lost my virginity to my ex and he was the only person I have had sex with, but I recently had sex with my boyfriend and it didn't change anything. I really like my boyfriend and want things to work out but can't seem to get over my past. I don't understand why do I still think about my ex and have feelings for him? I have met someone new who I really like but it seems like my past is haunting me. How can I get over my ex and am I even doing the right thing by trying to move on?
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female
reader, Tasmanian devil  +, writes (29 March 2010):
 I think your finding it hard to move on from your ex because the relationship didn't naturally come to an end, but got cut short, while you liked him, so you still have those flutters towards him. You are right in wanting to move on, because it doesn't really matter why you broke up now, because its done and both of you have moved on and you need to put those feelings to rest. But obviously hes going to always be special, he was your first, but you need to make sure thats the only reason and not because you like him.
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