A
female
age
41-50,
*rokenRed
writes:My boyfriend of 10 years and me broke up in Dec, I had started feeling feelings for my boss, Ive been waiting for my boyfriend to do something for ever, he's struggled with a drug addiction, and things just never seem to go right when he does try, we agreed to work on things this last fall, he kept telling me that it was dumb, as I am around my boss for 10 yrs a day, and him only a few, but I thought I could be strong, my boss kept hitting on me, until I just couldnt take it anymore, it's almost like it felt so good, it felt natural, I wanted him so bad, my boyfreind told me to stop talking to him, but it's like i couldnt, I liked talking to him, my bf of course was paranoid, I really didnt want to hurt him, but he was really starting to go crazy, texting me every single second all day long, accusing me of fooling around, finally, he broke up with me in a fit of rage, and when he came back to get back I told him I didnt feel it anymore, I don't know what happened, I have never not wanted him sexually, my mind is so confused, it's like I think of him as a brother, what happened? how did my feelings change overnight?he has texted me and called me non stop since the first of dec, I dont know what to do, I dont feel like im in love anymore, but I don't no why, he says, it took being without me, to realize how much he loved me, and we never have split before, is there anyway of making the feelings for him come back? I don't know what happened, my boss and me hooked up about 2 weeks after we split, and ive havent felt so desired in years, we did it 2 times in one night, and I loved it, but my he realizes people cant know about it! but my ex new what I had done, and says I basically cheated, im so confused! do I sound like a bad person? im just mixed up, I feel like I just want to be alone!
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female
reader, BrokenRed +, writes (30 January 2010):
BrokenRed is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLet me add one more thing! my x has never really even attempted to quit doing drugs, he really doesnt play alot of head games(my brother and cousin both addicts)but ive never actually seen him, just quit, like he has since we broke up, do you guys believe he could really love me that much? that what he says is true? im real sceptical about addicts, but I know him, and what he's doing is just to much to be fake! god, maybe I should stay alone, what if he is serious? is there anyway, I can feel physically attracted to him again? I think he's an attractive guy, all of the sudden, it was just gone, do you guys think theres any way in blue hell, he could actually miss me and want me bad enough to change what he was doing? Im so confused, I know you guys don't know him, but would someone change, after 10 years together? maybe we should have split earlier! but that doesnt do much good!
A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (29 January 2010):
 I think you answered your own question when you said "I feel like I just want to be alone!"
I have never been in a relationship with an addict, but I have siblings with substance abuse issues and know how draining it can be to live with someone with an addiction. You suffer as much, if not more, than they do. Their issues consume your life and every thought. Your feelings didn't change overnight: they changed over a decade of trying to make a relationship work with and addict. It's probably time to truly end the relationship with your ex. Don't allow him to talk you back into being with him--you've been a hostage to him and his problems long enough--and don't jump into anything with your boss, either. Enjoy the peace and quiet of being alone. Enjoy living without the drama of living with a drug addict. Take some time to clear your head and think about what YOU want from life. You didn't cheat on your boyfriend, so don't feel guilty about moving on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): Perhaps you may have lost respect for your x due to his addiction. You must also understand that after time the lust moves into a more "friendship" type of love. Your x shouldn't make you feel bad about your boss. I am sure he is just hurt but as long as you were honest with him. Make sure you really think about your feelings for your x. Make sure you are ready to let go before you do. You have invested a lot of time and write down the reasons why and reflect on them. About your boss. Work romances aren't the best with your superior. Your job is at risk here. What are the reasons why your boss wants the relationship hidden?
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