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female
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*itty83
writes: Hey thereMy first love left me out the blue one day and I was devastated. I never thought I would be able to move on and I never thought I would be able to find someone better, I honestly believed he was the one. But as you know, time is a great healer and I did manage to move on and absolutely loved being single.Then out the blue one day I bumped into an old childhood friend. We spoke for ages but something just clicked that night, so we texted then we dated then we fell in love. I honestly never knew what love was till I met him. He was amazing. Not only were we boyfriend and girlfriend he was my soul mate. Then out the blue one day his ex came back on the scene, begging him back for a second chance, he kept telling me that it was me that he wanted to be with and it was me that he loved but didn’t want to ever grow old and regret not giving her a second chance, I completely understood as I know what I was like four month after my break up with my first love so I told him to go for it and give it another go. I still can’t believe how brave I was to say that but I was heartbroken he left for her.Within three days of her coming back, he called me to say he has never had a relationship with another girl that treated him the way I did, it was me that he was in love with but he couldn’t handle any other man being with his ex. I would bump into him on nights out and he would look a broken man, you could see the hurt in his eyes. At first we would still go out for something to eat then end up home and it felt so right and he said he wished it was like this every night. But I felt my head was getting messed up, I stopped the meeting up but he still continued to call and text and tell me his feeling for me. I soon put an end to this too. I know longer call him or respond to his texts.It’s so hard that he is in love with me and I’m in love with him. Why can’t he leave her or can someone really be that possessive over their ex? His ex was well known for sleeping with his mates behind his back. I have sat and thought maybe he wants the best of two worlds but we are not having a sexual relationship and near the end he wasn’t even seeing me, it was just a phone relationship, but he still promised his heart was with me. Do I give up and move on or do I wait and see if he ever does pack her in? I just find it so unfair if two people have so much feelings for one another why cant they be together?Thanks for listening.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2005): I understand how you feel, my boyfriend is still tied to his ex girfriend. Although he is not so open about - I only know when he has seen her because I pry into his personal things. It is killing me and I am ready to walk even though I love him dearly. I have wasted a lot of years and at 41 have less chance of meeting somebody else. Don't waste your life on this man, it is too precious. Find somebody who will give you the love that you deserve.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2005): This is very poignant, but really, he is with her because he wants to be. Don't go back to him unless he leaves her completely. It will just be heartbreaking for you and for her, to have to share him. I think you might want to suggest to him that he get counseling about his inability to let go of her and allow her to be with someone else. It seems as if he felt threatened by her cheating on him and is trying to compensate for it now. This will undoubtedly ruin his chances for having a normal healthy relationship with her or with you. I recommend EFT to help him get over this quickly. emofree.com. It seems weird at first, but it helps a lot of people and faster than traditional psychotherapy.
If you can put him onto this, then just wait. In time, if he doesn't come around, you will get over him. It sounds like you form deep attachments and have a hard time letting go. This can have benefits and also cause a lot of heartache. Just remember that this is his choice. He can either have you or he can have her. He can't have both without causing a lot of pain. Give yourself some time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2005): I know exactly how you feel. I am in the same position myself. The trouble is i think, that even though it may not work for them, they find it hard to break the habit. If this man really loves you, it will not work with her. But dont put your life on hold, you said you enjoyed being single, go out and have fun. Hopefully he will realise what he is missing, before you find another love. You sound like such a lovely person, keep it up. Do you realise how rare you are. x good luck
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