A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help! I've been working with a guy I have had a crush on for over three years. We've always flirted, had lunch together and talked about almost everything! Everyone in our law office told me that he liked me... but he had a girlfriend at the time and I couldn't pursue him because of this. Just recently, he has broken up with his girlfriend, which he asked my advice about... and I told him to do what makes him happy. (Not trying to sway his decision)Now that he is single, he seems to avoid me at work and will not look me directly in the eyes. I've noticed him laughing and flirting someone else in the office... and has almost avoided speaking to me all together.What really gets me is the lack of eye contact. If he does say good morning... he barely looks up at me. If a couple of us are having a conversation, he'll look everyone in the eye, except me. I asked him last week if I did something to upset him... he said no and that we were still good friends. I feel stupid for asking for advice, as I have a feeling that he likes another girl in the office. I've just liked him for such a long time and don't understand the sudden change up in behavior?Please help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2007): Dear he considered you a friend whom he flirted with and that was all. You basically placated his ego while he was unavailable and attached to another. For 3 years, he flirted yet he didn't leave his gf and yet, you hung on. And now, that he's left the gf, it seems his interest for you, even friendship-wise has waned, considerably. I am sorry...I know it hurts. It was 3 years that you had this crush on him, that you both flirted, that you both talked to each other about everything and it sounds like you knew each other quite well. All indicators tell me, he knew, without a doubt how you felt. Dear, if he had been genuinely interested, that ex gf would've been gone and you would have been in, within the first 6 months-tops! The lack of eye contact, barely looking at you, all point to wards his awkwardness and a bit of guilt he feels, for having lead you on for 3 years! What a precious waste of your time. He's moved on and now you need to. The best thing you can do now...is forget him, accept that he's not interested and live your life well, by getting out with good, friends, having a blast and enjoying a positive, happy existence. And when you settle in with the reality of this situation of what's happened, then you move forward and heal...and to choose not to settle for this heartache and pain. Leave him be-he's just not worthy of you. Take care, dear
A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (17 February 2007):
 Hi Anon. Sorry to say so but it's seems that his interest level has dropped! You're obviously a principled and well balanced person and managed to keep your distance while he was still with his GF so you have done nothing wrong and should be proud of yourself. It's his issue! Maybe he has fallen for someone else; maybe he does not know that you have deep feelings for him? Why not send him a letter and explain how you feel and see the reaction! Just do it once and don't chase him. If he desires you he'll persue you, if not just forget about him and start dating other guys.It will be tough at first but I'm sure you'll manage. Take care.
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