A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If you're genuinely interested in someone, wouldn't you want to see them more often? I've gotten to know a guy for around 4 months now, he lives 4 hours away but we email each other pretty much every day. He's 41, and he did mention that he does want a family of his own in the future. The reason I'm writing is because from his Emails and when I'm with him, it feels like he's interested in me, but yet he doesn't do certain things that someone who's genuinely interested would do. I made him something for Valentine's Day, and when I gave it to him (we met up the weekend before Valentines), he said he had forgotten to bring mine and he brought it to my house the next day (heart shaped box of chocolates). Whether he truly "forgot" or was just unprepared, I have no idea, but I'd like to think it was the former. He seemed very appreciative of my present though. We were talking about dogs over Email, and he was saying he hoped we would have a chance to keep one together. He also sent me an e-card saying how he thinks I'm so cute and that he loves my smile. On the other hand, his family lives in the same city as me, and the primary reason he comes down is to visit them. He comes down approx every 2 weeks or so, and we meet up when he's here. This weekend is the last weekend before my Bday (my Bday's next Tuesday) but he is not coming down. I'm thinking that if you were really into someone, you would want to celebrate their Bday with them *BEFORE* their actual Bday, or at least make plans ahead of time. Seeing that he has not done this makes me wonder how much he really cares. Another thing is that he never really tells me ahead of time when he's coming down - and I don't think I should have to ask. One time I did ask if he was coming down a particular weekend, and he said that he decided to take a break from driving, but that he's looking forward to coming down the next weekend (which happened to be the Vday weekend, and also the last weekend before his parents left for vacation). I would love to see him more often, but I don't think he feels the same way. Otherwise, seeing that this weekend is the last weekend before my Bday, I would think that he would want to see me, *if* he's interested. Sure, I understand that he may not want to drive every weekend seeing that he already came down last weekend, but this weekend is different, at least to me. This is the only thing that bothers me about him - he doesn't really seem to want to see me, and yet one time when I went on a trip, he was asking if I would have internet access cuz he would miss Emailing me. Wouldn't you rather see someone than Email her? Anyhow, any comments or advice on this would be much appreciated, thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2007): I'm afraid i have a bad feeling in my gut about this..... I really belive he might be liveing a "double life" and that you are more of a mistress... either that or he is just stringing you along because he enjoys the attention (thus the e-mails) but has no real intention for more (thus not seeing you often). Why don't you ever go visit him? Or meet halfway that way you both drive only 2 hours? But i agree, if he was really in love with you (like he claims in his e-mails) he would want to see you more often (but once again, why don't you go visit him? and if its because he dosunt allow it..... it probably is because he is liveing a "double life"). Either way.... this relationship is not working out for you, and i would suggest trying to move on, and finding someone who can truley give you the love and attention you deserve.
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