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writes: Question: Should I worry that my boyfriend will cheat on me and why can't I trust him?I have read many questions in hope of finding someone with a similar problem to mine.I really hope someone can give me some advice on what to do, and whether I am just being silly.I am 21 years old, and have been with my boyfriend for 18 months now. He is kind, thoughtful and a genuinely nice guy who has allways looked out for my needs. However, he has always keps a lot to himself, and never opened up to me about his feelings or past. We both still live at home, so when we're not together, our lives are quite separate.Anyway, since he finished school 5 years ago, he hasnt really kept in touch with his high school classmates (every now and then), so when he was invited to a reunion dinner and bonfire, I was curious to go.The girl who organised the whole thing gave us a lift to the restaurant, and she was really nice, outgoing and chatty. When my boyfriend and I were finally leaving to go home, they hugged and that was it. On our way home, I mentioned how nice this girl is (she even lent me a jumper to wear while at the bonfire because it was so cold). My boyfriend, then started to tell me that when they were in school, she liked him at one stage (but he didn't like her). Then he started to like her, but she didn't like him then. Here, he stopped, but I sensed that he didn't give me the whole story. He was really hesitant, and when I finally convinced him to keep going, this is what he said.Anyway, they finished school, and hadn't seen each other for a couple of years or so, and then they just met by chance one night. They had a "fling" (I don't know any details, he said it was nothing...I don't believe him). Then they had another fling shortly after, and apparently that was it. He said that things never progressed, because, they were always busy or something. He said he never thought this was important to tell me because it was before he met me. He also said that he did't want me to think of him any differently now, especially since they are still friends.Now the problem is this. This Saturday, she invited him to one of their classmate's Housewarming parties. He is going. I can't make it, and I am beginning to worry. I mean, I know he would never want to hurt me. But he is a guy, and what if there is an opportunity? It is clear that they have a past, and there is probably still some (unresolved) chemistry there.All of a sudden any trust that I had in him has evaporated.I don't want to let him know that this is worrying me, because he found it hard enough to open up to me about this in the first place. And if I know "attack" him (he gets defencive really easily) about this topic, I'm afraid that he'll never open up to me again in fear that I won't take it well.Help, I'm going out of my mind thinking of the possibilities of what could happen! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2006): Just relax sweetie, worrying about it isn't going to change a thing. Your boyfriend sounds like a really decent guy and I bet he is not the type to cheat. We all have old flames out there with unresolved chemistry but when we are happy with what we have there is no way we would jeopordise that. During the course of your relationship you will both meet people you are attracted to, but it is you he loves not her. Don't stress about a thing.. time will take it's course and what's meant to be will be.
Good luck..
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