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female
,
anonymous
writes: We don't have sex because I am seldom aroused. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years. During the first year, we had frequent sex. The relationship became rocky after the 2nd year and through the 3rd year. We took a break and I dated another guy for a good two months and completely in lust with me, though we never slept together. That relationship ended and my boyfriend and I reunited a year after. Since then, any type of physical contact has been hard for me. First, it was hard to kiss him, then things got better, then it was hard to have sex with him. I will have to be honest and say that at times, when we fool around, I think of the "2-month-guy" during and after. Fortunately, I don't anymore. Now, having sex is so far off...part of it may also be the fact that we are scared of getting pregnant, but the major part, which he does not know of is the fact that I am seldom aroused by him. I love him very much and I know that the lack of sex hurts him. I guess I don't find him sexy. How can we work this out without hurthing his feelings? Is there anything I can do on my part alone to fix this? Please help. ---
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2006): You may want to reassess your attraction to him, he may just end up being one of your close male friends. If you are certain of your attraction- extend the foreplay, maybe spice things up abit- take an evning to read some erotic litterature together or go on a trip for something exciting that is not routine. Take a shower together, or find something that you can positivly associate with sex. Even try turning yourself on in your free time, and practice self-arousal so you are comfortable with it. Talk to him too, and see how he thinks of these things.
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (15 June 2006):
 Are you still attracted to him? but when it comes to sex it feels like a lead balloon?....Your boyfriend might not be doing enough foreplay on you...does he hurry it up when it comes to having sex? Fear of getting pregnant wont help so you really need to sort out contraception...The family planning clinic will help you and its confidential.Another thing is..did you feel obligated to getting back together again?...or was it his idea? If you feel that you dont love him anymore and he doesn't excite you when it comes to love making then perhaps this relationship has ran its course.
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