A
female
age
30-35,
*ogarixe
writes:So. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years, and I don't feel like I'm lying when I say I love him. But it feels like we've grown apart, and I'm starting to think that maybe we should break up. I'm just trying to figure out if we've been having problems because we don't mesh as well as we did at one point, or if I'm just being crazy (and trust me-I'm a little psychotic sometimes). PLUS He's a senior in high school and I'm going to college 2 1/2 hours away from him. So there's that distance with it, too. and there's all these really awesome guys I've met there who I've been seriously attracted to. It's not that I don't trust myself around other guys; it's that I develop crushes really easily, and I feel guilty about that. I'm also afraid that if we break up, I'll have no friends. I'm a very introverted person to begin with, therefore, I have very few friends, and I'm ok with being by myself in my room instead of going out. At one point in my relationship, I said that my boyfriend was my best friend, but I don't feel like that's true anymore. It might be a question of maturity. I feel pretty mature for my age, and my boyfriend (who is much much MUCH more book-smart than I am) is still stuck playing halo and call of duty and star wars and lord of the rings and.... (sigh) I just wish he would... grow out of it, I guess. here's the thing, though: I don't want to break his heart. I DO love him in the sense that I would hate for anything bad to happen to him, but I don't know if I should keep sacrificing my own happiness for him. so after that horribly long backstory, here's my question: should I break up with him, and if so, how should I do it?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (15 November 2010):
 It is never fun to break up with someone. It never gets easier, and it always hurts. You still have to do it! You're clearly not happy with this guy, and the longer you draw this out, the more it will ultimately hurt. You are dating him right now because you feel bad for him... while he will hurt from being dumped, nobody wants to be pity-dated. Would you?
Just tell him that you feel like you're growing apart, you're both going to different schools and while you love him as a person it's just time for you to move on. You're really sorry, you really want him to be happy and you think someone else can make him happier.
Be firm, be kind, be final. You deserve happiness... don't ever sacrifice yours if you don't have to. You are young and you've got years ahead of you. So does he! Life will move on. Good luck, sweetness!
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