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I don't think my mom loves me anymore...

Tagged as: Family, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 July 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2009)
A female United States age 41-50, *he ex wife writes:

Hi. My mother fights me all the time. When I'm around she snickers at every word I say and rolls her eyes at me. I had to stay with her for a couple of weeks and she yelled at me for using the toilet paper I bought, tells me to do dishes and yells at me for using too much dish soap, etc... She nit picks at me and she will take my son all the time but will never take my daughter. I'm 30yrs old and haven't lived at home for 12yrs. This started about 4yrs ago and is getting worse. I seriously think she hates me.

Any advice? ps I'm the only one out of her 4 kids that she treats this way. My brother says she constaintly complains about things that I do. (he is staying with her until his house is built)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2009):

my mom kinda the same way she dont talk to me and she is always in her room the olny time she talk to me wen she is damaned things and talking trash to me how do you think i fell and im only ten years old? i think she dont love me she dont take me inn were wat should i do

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A female reader, hislilgoobear United States +, writes (24 July 2008):

hislilgoobear agony auntWell I hope that it goes good for you...Honestly I would take both mine and the other responders advice...set boundaries and let her know..your a grown woman..and if she can't respect you..then she can't be around you..that includes you kids..it'll hurt and you'll hate putting her in her place..she'll hate it too..but it may work for your mom...Good Luck and I hope you can get through to her.

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A male reader, rcn United States +, writes (23 July 2008):

rcn agony auntAdvice should be something you're open too. That is, if she learns to provide it in a constructive manner. I'd say, no taking the kids, unless she can share time equally between them both. So, what took place 4 years ago to cause her behavior to change? Your a parent and adult. She needs to respect you as such. You have the right, being nice of course, to set your boundaries of how you want to be treated, and the treatment for your children.

You can accept advice, but the way she's nitpicking is not going to help anyone. It's time wasted and not well spent.

I'd talk to her and lay down ground rules. Let her know how you feel, and how her nagging is not going to help anyone. Ask her why she is angry, and how you want to solve these issues.

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A female reader, the ex wife United States +, writes (23 July 2008):

the ex wife is verified as being by the original poster of the question

the ex wife agony auntThanks for the advise. I have noticed my mom change her moods but that's just the thing, I stick up for myself all the time and Always voice my opinions about everything and when I started doing that, is when she started going against me. Our views are oposite all the time. I will take your advice and continue to stick up for myself but maybe I'm not getting through like your bf's father did. I'll tell her what your bf's dad said and maybe she will lay off. Thanks Again!

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A female reader, hislilgoobear United States +, writes (23 July 2008):

hislilgoobear agony auntMy mom is very much the same way. She started treating me the way your mom treats you about five years ago when my oldest brother left for the navy. She used to literally fight me and treated me like I was her slave. The only places that I could go were to school and home. And when I did what she wanted me to she would yell about the way I did it or that I didn't do it quick enough or to her likings. She made me move a few states away from my boyfriend with her and I wasn't even aloud to call him or I had to have a reason to want to. She would never let me go next door to visit my sick grandparents or my aunt and cousins. I finally moved back to NY and moved in with my BF where she would then call and be nasty to everyone including me and his parents. Finally one day when she called me and starting yelling at me I told her that I didn't care what she had to say and that her information that she said she had on me was comepletely wrong and when she kept yelling I hung up on her. When she called back my boyfriends father answered the phone and told her that if she couldn't call and respect those who live there then she can't call back anymore. Ever since then she has in a way changed she has stopped complaining to me about everything and yelling at me and she actually smiles when she sees me. So for you I understand that although it may be under different circumstances I think that it may be helpful for you to stand up to your mother as well. I really hope that things look up for because I understand what it's like.

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