A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a university student in a major that I enjoy. I've also been in a relationship for two years with a handsome man I love. But I just don't feel good about myself. I don't feel like I'm smart enough to get into graduate school like my boyfriend. I also have low confidence about my physical appearance, because I'm almost completely flat chested. I'll never measure up to modern beauty standards because I'm too thin, not "womanly" enough. These issues are causing me to lose motivation at school and in the bedroom (I don't want to have sex when I don't feel like I am capable of being sexy) I just want to be good enough.What can I do to boost my self-esteem? At the rate I'm going I just want to sink into the ground.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 December 2012):
 We all have this kind of problems, and eventually we all forget about them. Be patient, don't focus on this, and just be happy. At some point in the future you'll see that you have really nothing to worry about.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2012): What is this modern beauty standard you talk about OP? I've heard lots of versions and I don't buy into any of them, tanned? Not for me thanks, I like porcelain pale as most Irish women are. Skinny? No thanks, big hips and little extra weight for me thanks. Big boobs? No thanks, I prefer pert, barely theres. I buy into my own personal standard beauty, what's your personal standard and why is the modern one more important to you? And if this standard doesn't have any benefits for you why do you believe in it?
Do I think a man with a full head of hair is more beautiful or manly than me because I'm bald? I don't, nor do I see why I should. I'm proof that the modern beauty standard for men, tall dark, handsome with a full head of hair is complete nonsense and my girlfriend and all my exes are proof of that too.
Get rid of that bullshit standard OP and put what you have as your standard for beauty.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 December 2012):
 What ARE you good at? FOCUS on that - let that part of you thrive. EVERYONE is good at something. FIND your niche and stop measuring yourself to others. YOU are YOU, not jenny or Jill or whomever you compare yourself to.
There are MANY women out there who are successful in various degrees and branches from modelling, acting to running a business or a farm for that matter - some who do NOT live up to the "traditional" look of a woman. SET your own standard!
Being athletic is NOT a bad thing. Not having big boobs or big butt doesn't make you LESS of a woman. STOP comparing yourself to women who are NOT you.
Be the BEST you - YOU can be. Challenge yourself - better yourself.
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