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female
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anonymous
writes: hi,i have a boyfriend who i have fallen in love with, the problem is, all i can think about is when we actually do break up, we have been close to breaking up quite a few times and just carried on when the arguements sorted them selves out. But i keep putting my self down, and i dont know what i will do when i break up with him, just being close to breaking up with him kills me. I am falling more and more in love with him everyday and it is getting harder and harder, i just dont know how i am going to deal with it! could you help me and give me some advice?thankyou xxxx Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2006): Hey,Its obvious that you love this guy and he loves you, and the fear of breaking up is a powerful emotion, i know what it feels like to have your heart broken and you've been let down, but you need to have faith in your reletionship and mostly yourself, don't put yourself down for this guy because believe me, when the time does come you might be so heart broken, you might do something stupid. Don't give up on yourself,~*~Muse~*~
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (9 May 2006):
 Fear, if it is powerful enough can become a self-fufilling prophercy. In other words your fear of breaking-up could be leading to act in ways that cause crisies in the relationship thus making it more likely you actually break-up.
I think what you need to do is actually tackle that fear rather than try and deal with a break-up which hasnt happened yet and may not. If you are afraid because you have so much emotionally invested then every time you start getting these thoughts you need to force your mood around, think about all the reasons you wont break-up.
Also it may be helpful to tell your bf these fears then hopefully he will provide you with some extra reassurance. Hope that helps. Take care.
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