A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi, bit of a long question here. So about 2 years ago I told this girl whom I had been friends with for about 2 years (at that time) that I had feelings for her but she told me that she didnt like me in that way and just saw us as friends which took a while to fully accept but as of now I have fully come to terms with that. However, just a few days ago she replied to one of my texts where I asked her if she would like to hang out with me and a few of our friends from high school at my place and in her reply asked if she could bring her boyfriend. Now while I have fully accepted the fact that we won't ever be more than friends I just dont think I am emotionally ready to physically see her with someone else. So what do I do? I've already told her that she can bring him (if he's available) but did so purely out of not wanting to make her think that things are weird between us. Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (20 June 2013):
Two years ago? This was just a friend you had a crush on, not your ex wife we're talking about. Stop dwelling on it, face your fears and move on.
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (20 June 2013):
HI
I understand how you feel, but if you have invited him along too one of two things will happen
1) She don't bring him she was just testing that you ARE over her in that way.
2) she brings him along, and the pair of them are all lovey dovey in front of you which MAY be the final thing you need to see to completely get over this OR hurt your feelings more, which could lead to bad feelings towards you all.
I suggest if your now feeling uncomfortable about the situation that you cancel it. Just make other plans. You could tell her that there was a family emergency and maybe a rain check at some point.
Good luck, and don't stress it will all work out in the end.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 June 2013):
Then if you can't handle it don't "fake" a friendship,, just let her know it isn't going to work out for you trying to be FRIENDS. And wish her well.
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