A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few weeks ago after a night out I ended up "making out" with a co worker that I'd liked for ages. He basically said that he'd had feelings for me for a while too and hadn't really felt that way before. We texted for a while afterwards until he said he didn't think the work thing was a good idea because he has an ex at the same work place and he didn't want it to be awkward.Fair enough, I didn't kick up a fuss (even though inside I was annoyed- especially after saying he had feelings for me and didn't care about work awkwardness) and just left him to it. However, a couple of days ago at the pub he spent the whole time outrageously flirting with a completely different co-worker! A few drinks in and I kind of confronted him and he said "I flirt with everyone" before he got annoyed at ME for having told one very trustworthy friend about what happened between the two of us. He begged my friend not to tell anyone, that he couldn't remember anything he'd said to me, and that he wouldn't ever get with this new girl anyway. Then he told me to be an adult and get over it. The next day I find out he kissed the new girl at the end of the night!I know it's far worse for the poor ex girlfriend at work who is completely oblivious to all of this, but I just don't know how to treat him at work any more. I don't want to waste too much negative energy on him but also don't want him to think his behaviour is ok! What shall i do?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 October 2016):
 He is playing the field. He is single and having fun. Just unfortunate that you got caught up in his mess. It was only one night so you probably should just forget about it and move on. I would just stay out of his way. He is the one with the issues not you.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (27 October 2016):
 Hold your head high, and walk away with dignity. Be pleasant and professional if you need to speak to him about work. Treat him like someone you don't really know if work is not involved.
And stop watching him in social settings. You are only setting yourself up for heartache. He's a player. Learn from your mistake - because it was YOUR mistake to trust someone like him so easily - and let it go.
Don't be tempted to talk to his ex about him. I am sure she realizes totally what he is like but has chosen to move on. What he does is nothing to do with her any longer - just as it should not be to you.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (27 October 2016):
 True, be the adult, treat him and "it" like it never happened and keep things strictly professional. If he brings it up rhetorically ask " not sure (insert name) why you'd be bothered to bring that up? if you were of any interest to me you would have heard from me by now,best to put that behind you now". He sounds like a dog cocking his leg to mark his territory. He'll eventually out himself around the office with behaviour like this.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (26 October 2016):
 What a sad and shady sack!
He is the kind who hits on all the NEW girls and tells them "pretty little lies" to get a snog or into their panties. And after the "deed" he grows a "conscience" and it needs to go no further...
WHAT a sad and shady guy. I mean seriously, that is pathetic.
What would I do? I'd BLOCK him. And I'd ignore him at work (unless it's work related, in that case, I'd just be professional).
Don't give him any more attention. Do your job and avoid him.
And learn from this. Don't date in the workplace or make out with co-workers in the future, because you just don't know what kind of sad sacks are out there.
Other than that? What really CAN you do? Warn all new girls that he is a sad sack? It's not your job. Or you can be upset and LET him make your workplace an unpleasant place for YOU.
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A
female
reader, followtheblackrabbit  +, writes (26 October 2016):
 He's obviously playing the field and lying around to get what he wants. Now, based on his concern about his "ex" finding out about his little games, I would say that he's probably still involved with her somehow and is afraid of being caught or he's possibly involved with someone she knows very well. My advice: stay FAR away from him. He'll learn his lesson in his own time and hopefully, it'll stick. I doubt he'd listen to anything or anyone that tells him his behavior is not okay. You communicated this to him already when you confronted him! If he thinks "being an adult" means not having to own up to his actions, then he's not worth your time or effort. Leave him to his childish games and find someone who understands respect.
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