A
female
age
36-40,
*allmemissramos
writes:Ive been BFF with this amazing guy! He may have his flaws but he is perfect to me. He calls me wifey n I call him my hubby bc we do everything together; grocery shopping, to weddings, to parties, etc. Hes a fun single guy who had had his heart broken so he just wants to go out and flirt with girls. i as well am a single girl who had her heart broken except im not afraid to be in another relationship like he is. Anywho, one day he finally was able to introduce to me a friend of his that he knew I would like. Sure enough I did. Well that day we all had a few drinks and he ended up sleeping with a girl that was with us. Hurt so much that I realized then and there that I had strong feelings for my best friend. We had only been best friends for half a year by then. I couldn't even look him in the eye. I knew he was a flirt but I had no idea he would hook up with easy women like that. even he knew he lost points in my book bc this was something he had never done in front of me before. He just kept asking me if we were ok... After that I started dating that friend of his knowing I obviously was not in my friends love interest. Well he went from Telling me how great this guy was to not liking me dating this guy at all! Other friends as well as his sister would tell me how he was so uncomfortable with my relationship with this guy. Some even thought maybe it was jealousy. I kind of saw how his friend was full of bs at times as well so I eventually called it quits. It's been another 6 months since that and I find myself dating guys to help me get over my friend. And there goes my friend telling me how these guys r no good for me. How he knows them, idk. He doesn't want me dating any guy yet he's always out partying and wanting to flirt with all girls. I've never heard of him hooking up with other girls nor has he told me but I'm pretty sure there's been others. I've been a bit distant lately bc I just want to stop liking like I do and go back to seeing him as just a friend. He obviously isn't at a place in his life where he wants a relationship like I am so I haven't told him my feelings towards him. I most likely already know the answer plus I would lose his friendship... I suppose my question is if I'm doing the right thing here?
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best friend, flirt, jealous, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): Ask yourself; if I were to die tomorrow would I regret not telling him?
In the short run if he says no you'll regret it for a little while, but if you don't tell him you'll probably regret it for years to come.
A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (6 November 2012):
 I don't think you are. I think you should tell him how you feel and find out for certain what he wants, you never know. It's impossible to be truly good friends with him when you have feelings for him. If you refuse to tell him (which I think is a mistake) then you will need to distance yourself a lot to move on before trying to be friends with him. Even though that will probably backfire, he will know you are distant and will either know immediately why or think you dont like him as a friend anymore, either way not a good outcome. Communication and open honesty is going to be the best for you in this situation. Even if he says no he doesn't want a relationship then at least you know, moving on will be much easier than thinking there could be a chance, and you can be honest and say you need some space from the friendship to move on. It can only strengthen the friendship because you are able to really talk to each other.
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A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy +, writes (6 November 2012):
One word Communicate.
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