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I don't think he likes me as much as I like him!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 August 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 23 August 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. At the beginning of our relationship he was constantly saying how amazing I was and complimenting me, I found it a bit much at times as i had not long come out of a 4 year relationship and i didnt just want to say the same things back to him just because he had said them to me. I did say some things to him when i actually felt and meant them and he seemed to appreciate them.

Now 6 months on he doesnt say these things anymore and i get the impression he does not like me as much as i like him. Im not sure what to do about this... should I hang in there and hope it changes or get out now before I get hurt? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

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A female reader, dijoyful United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

dijoyful agony auntI agree with the other people here, usually anything after 3 months to a year a mans is in the 'loved up state' all the things most off us woman like to hear happen in this stage to form the bonding process. They tell us they love us, miss us, how beautiful we are, touch as tenderly, when they feel there effort has produced the desired effect they can then rest on there laurells, sit back and enjoy the fruits of thier labour. They don't do this on purpose, thats how most men work. Of coarse we take this as if they don't care/fancy/love us any more, and all our other insecurities come to the fore, this is when woman can start to be needy and more demanding when she has previously been happy and relaxed. A Gentle bit of coaxing can help things along abit and just understanding the relationship has gone into a differant phrase can help, When this happens, be the best you can be, he will want to be with such a wonderful girlfriend.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Because he doesnt say anything anymore i dont feel like i can say anything to him as i feel stupid or its one sided. Maybe i should though as if i never say anything then nothing will ever move forward

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010):

You're past the honeymoon phase. Congrats.

My boy was the same way, but for about a year. (Granted, we didn't get to see each other much more than once a week or so that first year).. After youv'e been with someone for so long, they don't want to compliment you all the time. They feel like they're just saying the same things over and over and that makes them lose their value. Just because he doesn't say things doesn't mean he doesn't feel them..

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A female reader, romany United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

romany agony auntYes I have, and looking back now, I really wish I'd have sat him down and asked him, Coz he was great, but I was scared and ran, it was such a better option than putting myself at risk of being rejected, At the time!

I think you should ask him, dont do what I done, it took me ages to get over the 'what ifs' when i ended it with him, and talking to others that have been thru this very thing, who have been braver and spoken it out, the common denominator in all their answers, is that the guy thought that the compliments weren't neccessary anymore, as they never got the response from the girlfriends that they had when they said it in the beginning, so figured they were being monotonous.

Talk to him. Its the only way you'll find out why.

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A female reader, rachaelx United Kingdom +, writes (23 August 2010):

rachaelx agony auntI felt very simillar, at the beginning of my relationship my boyfriend told me all the time how much i mean to him and always said i was beautiful. I didnt really take it into account because i didnt love him so early on like he seemed to. Its because of me being a little selfish i lost him and then he went back to his ex, i never shown him no attention. We made back up though and now its like im always telling him how much i want to be with him, the tables have turned. I dont think this is anything to end over you should tell him how you feel, he will probably feel bad and things should get better.

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