A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My issue is that I don't see myself as "sexy." This poses a problem since I am in a relationship. I see myself as "cute" - not really how you want to see yourself when you're intimate with your significant other.My boyfriend says to me, "you're the sexiest girl I've seen." I actually laugh inside when he says that, cause I'm the last person to agree that I possess sexiness. I believe he's saying what he really thinks, but I just can't seem to think it! Cause I'm all cute and silly and bubbly, I can't see myself being sexy. I mean, yes, there are times when I feel sexy, but afterwards I think, "Oh you're so not meant to be sexy. You're the cute one, cute does not equal sexy!" So yea, that's my problem. How can I overcome this unfortunate way of thinking? P.S. Sorry for repeating the word "sexy" so many times in here =) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Darkened  +, writes (17 February 2010):
"Sexy" is overrated. ;) Everyone has something that would like to change, but that doesn't mean the partner would feel the same way about it. He's clearly with you because he loves you the way you are, and that's not a thing many can say.
If you want to insist on the issue, have a chat with him about what both of you would like to change on yourselfs. If you are such a good couple you'll probably exaggerate, ending in a good laugh. Everyone says communication and humour are both keys for a good relationship.
A
male
reader, goodguy11 +, writes (17 February 2010):
It's not all about looks that makes you sexy. If you have a great personality that makes you even hotter. I've met some cute girls and they were really nice and intellectual. That turned me on and I found that really sexy. I told them that and yes they giggled the same way you do with your boyfriend. He sees you for who you are inside and from what he's saying he's definitely into you and you're definitely turning him on. So he's not just trying to be nice he's saying what he really thinks of you and you should be happy he feels that way about you. Keep doing what you're doing and be yourself because it's working. Hope I helped you a little.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (17 February 2010):
 First of all, how do you see him. I doubt he sees himself the way you do. Just as, it's not your position to judge how he sees you, or to force yourself to see yourself the same way.
So you see him, and he sees you. How you feel or see yourself is no how he has to see you, and visa versa. What I am getting from what you said, is a desire to see the sexy in you that he sees. He is with you for who you are, and his view is correct as it's how he sees you.
Although your cute and bubbly, how about tossing that aside for one day to be sexy, as you can see yourself. I want you to, post valentines day surprise, set up a day where he doesn't know where you're going or doing. Just tell him its a surprise. This is your day of pampering. Go with a friend, if nervous, to a day spa, doing the exfoliating, and moisturizing, followed by having make up applied, and hair styled, (when they ask how you want it, just say to make you sexy), pick out an outfit (short skirt, boots), etc. then surprise him by turning you, as a cub, into a tiger for the night.
He already sees you as sexy, this will make you feel sexy, and he'll be drooling and speechless. I hope this helps you. And remember, in general, how he views you is okay, even if that's not your view of yourself. If you do this, update us (details not required), on how that night made you feel. Take care.
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