A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met man online and we have become very close . The only concern I have is that he is a self confessed 'leg man' . Being that I am only 5 foot and my breasts are by far my best physical assets I feel like I would be starting a relationship already knowing that I'm lacking something that is a huge turn on for himNow I understand that this may see trivial but with little background , it may make more sense why I am so concerned . My long term marriage actually broke up because my ex had a massive issue with objectifying women and porn. He would compare me to the porn stars and say that after my children my scars and sagging breasts turned himOff and my body didn't match the porn stars. So I have reservations about getting involved with a man who has already shown me that I don't meet his preferences What do I do
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2014): OP here , some great answersThankyou especially to so very confused who gave me great clarity The truth is him needing to looking at women who have a specific attribute I don't ( long hot legs ) makes me feel insecure and in truth, that's not the relationship I dreamed of. I think I would honestly be lying if I said Id be happy with himI mean, noticing attractive people is normal and we all do that but to know that my man specifically lusted after something I can never give him and that my legs could never help but disappoint him and on top of that ,y best as seats go unappreciated and unnoticed by him, seems to make us a poor match I think I need to leave him to find a woman who had amazing legs and I need to hopefully find a man who wants the things I have to offer and thinks they are amazing , or even be alone rather than waste anymore of our time
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 December 2014):
 Do not discount a man who is a self professed "leg man" just because your ex was a jerk.
my husband goes for young Asian girls with light eyes and big boobs. I am NONE of the above and yet this man loves me so much he would die to protect me.
Now what you may find is that while he loves you and is with you he will NOT stop looking at women with gorgeous legs. IF you can cope with that then go for it.
IF you can't cope with your man admiring attributes you don't have or feel insecure about (as you do have legs and they may be very nice) then do not get involved with him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 December 2014):
 I am 5 feet also. Being short doesn't mean not having good legs. Kylie Minogue is short and she had been voted for having the best legs one year. There is nothing wrong with liking legs but if a guy makes an emphasize on that I would feel that his priority is sex and not really a loving relationship. On top of that to say it knowing you are short is kind of insensitive. He could also be saying to make you insecure, like you have to earn your way to his love since you have something lacking in his taste. It sounds very vain and having a preference doesn't guarantee he has it. I am sure he's not physically ideal to all women either. He could be saying he's a leg man because his ex had long legs, and he's missing her legs. Or he is just very clueless and not knowing what to say on a date. I would have reservations too not because I have short legs, but because I feel that guy is focusing mainly on the physical. Given your experience with your exes I would say steer clear of men who are obsessed with looks. I am sure physically he's not your ideal either. My boyfriend makes me feel beautiful and he's much taller than me. When you love someone your whole being is beautiful.
What you should do is continue to look around for a man you feel comfortable and confident with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2014): If he's bald, tell him you are a "hair" woman. If he's brunette, tell him you have a thing for blondes. If he's an artist, tell him you like scientists. Dish it right back to him!
He's just playing with you to gauge where your weaknesses are. He wants to see if you have a backbone or if you'll crumble like apple crisp. And what are you doing? crumbling...Stop being insecure and so sensitive. Simply dish it right back to him. Tell him your ideal man is the total opposite of him. That'll put him in his place and make him rethink these comments he's been making. Guaranteed.
Most men do this in the initial stages of courtship. It's a test. And you are failing big time.
My boyfriend pulled crap like this all the time when we first started dating. Making little comments to make me jealous. I called his bluff time and time again by yawning and looking at my watch.
Don't give him the attention he craves. Be confident, you are beautiful as you are. He isn't perfect either so he should feel damn lucky he has you.
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