A
female
age
30-35,
*993love
writes:So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We will be a year in about two weeks. Anyways, I just always feel like he puts me after everything. Money, friends and skateboarding. I work 8-5 so when I come home from work I just wanna chill at home, ya know? He'll visit me for about an hour or two because I live like 5 minutes from the skatepark.....after he's done skating for the day. On the weekends, I'll stay over at his place (he lives with his parents) and we'll go out to a party with friends. After we'll come home and sleep. The next morning, we wake up and I'm hoping we'll get to like go out somewhere like to a restaurant or just go do something that couples do. I'm always the one suggesting that we go on dates and stuff, ALONE, without his friends. I won't even try to get him to do something with me, cuz I feel like he wouldnt want to anyway and tell me he has to meet up with customers to get money. I'm just like fine.....okay. Maybe later. I don't know, it's like our whole relationship is us doing our own thing during the day, we see each other after, and then that's it. Since I dont work on the weekends, I wanna be able to actually spend time with him, ya know? During the day while hes with his friends and stuff, we hardly even text. Hes really nice and sweet and says he loves me but come on. Can it feel like we're in an actual relationship for once? Also, hes been bugging to get a place with me, right? Well now that I got this new job and can afford to, now he's "not ready." Hes only 19 and Im 21, so maybe hes still too damn young for a real relationship. But idk. Just dont know if he'll ever make me his first priority and be ready for an actual eelationship, or if im just wasting my damn time....
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 December 2014):
 He is 19, when a guy is 19 his first priority is going to be being with his friends. He isn't "too damn young", he is merely acting his age. If this relationship isn't making you happy then break up with the kid and date someone closer to your age or older.
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (8 December 2014):
 To be honest, you are both too young for a "real relationship" as you put it.
Really he is only just out of childhood, and neither of you have experienced what life is all about. You still have visions of how the "perfect" relationship should be, where you only have eyes for one another, and are literally glued to the hip 24/7.
Being in a serious relationship means knowing when you have to take a back seat. Sometimes money, work, commitments ARE more important than going out on that date you had planned. It is about give and take. Spending time with your friends is just as important. Do you spend time with your friends?
Saying that tho, it does sound as if he is not ready for commitment. He wants the thrill of having a girlfriend, but not the commitment of having a partner. But this really is not such a shock as he is ONLY 19. Most people do not settle down into long term relationships, or live together until they are a bit older. So it could all be scaring him.
I do think he likes you, and wants to see you as a girlfriend, but if you want commitment, living together, full on relationship stuff, then he is not the one for you right now.
He still lives with his parents. He has NO IDEA how to look after himself. If you moved in with him, I suspect you would end up taking the place of his mother. Doing all the housework, washing, picking up his clothes. He would still want to go out, play with his friends and do everything he does now. But you would be left at home on your own. Do you want that?
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