A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi need some advice. I've been with my husband since I was 17 years old and we have been married 8 years and have 2 lovely sons. I am now 31 but for the last year i have been unhappy and feel like me and my partner have drifted apart and my feelings for him are not the same anymore. We don't sleep in the same room anymore and haven't for about a year, which is my choice as i don't want to sleep with him, have sex, kiss or cuddle the thought turns my stomach to be honest. He is a great father to my boys and for the last year i have tried so hard to make it work for the children but i'm so unhappy that feel this isn't good for the kids either.I told him how i felt a couple of weeks ago and he was distraught as said i'm his world and he loves me loads but i know i don't feel like this, he always tells me he loves me but i can't tell him back. He is a kind man and would do anything for me and since we had a chat he has been trying so hard but i'm just pushing him away. Our families know whats going on and they are trying to keep out of it even though they really want to tell me what they think.I can not see anyway forward as just want to leave but i'm also worried about the children and how this will affect them but i know they are starting to pick up on things. What advice could you give me? i know utimetly i need to make the decision..... i know deep down i want to leave but at the same time i don't want to hurt my children or my husband, i know i don't love him but i care about how it will affect him and worried about my children. Please help with advice Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for reply, i think i would be happier without him as just plain miserable at the mo, he's trying really hard but think its too late. I am trying hard to keep it from children but children pick up on things quite easily i think. I have thought about going to counselling on my own and have spoken to close friends who have given me some good advice but it comes down to me feeling the same.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 If you stay and do nothing you will hurt your sons and husband just as much as if you were to leave.
You need to figure out some things. 1. Would you be happier without your husband then with him?
If the answer is yes, then you need to figure out the next step. Maybe try a trial separation first, see how it goes.
If the answer is no, then you need help. If you belong to a church a LOT of them provide excellent counseling. If you do not belong to a church you can still find marriage counseling.
Staying JUST for the children is a HUGE burden - ON THE CHILDREN.
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