A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost five years now so last month he was acting up for me so I left him. He had started acting up in such a way that he was working so since when he was off from work he spent time with his family leaving me with no chance to be with him. So when I complained he thought I was separating him with his family. I was fed up I left him. In the process I fell in love with another guy who's 14 years older than me. He was just so perfect very matured and all I was completely free with him other than my boyfriend. Now my boyfriend apologised and I forgave him and we're trying things out again now my problem is I don't love my boyfriend the way I used to do before instead I always think about the other guy and my heart is left with him. I can't stop thinking about him. My boyfriend is threatened so much that he makes me promise him that I won't leave him and it's so hard to pretend I'm afraid to leave him because he can hurt himself. But I'm not happy in this relationship. Please help!!! Pretty please with a cherry on top
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 April 2016):
 I think you should be on your own for a while until you figure out what it is that you want. If you don't feel love with your boyfriend anymore then you need to be honest with him. You cannot stay with someone in case they hurt themselves, and if he is emotionally blackmailing you then you need to get out of this relationship before you end up resenting him and being very unhappy.
I don't think that you love the other guy, but maybe he has showing you a bit of happiness and you have realized that you where not completely happy with your boyfriend. I think it is time you are honest with yourself and your boyfriend, and be on your own for a while until you figure out what you want. Good luck.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 April 2016):
 Maybe I need more information on how he's acting up. Why can't he visit his family and how often do you see each other now? You are infatuated with the older guy but it isn't love. What you are missing from your boyfriend is the initial stages of romantic love combined with lust. Those feelings often do not last beyond three years. That does not mean you don't love your boyfriend. It just means it has transformed into a deeper bond or if it does not, you have to part ways. Your boyfriend may not be as mature but obviously loves you. Not everyone is suited for long term relationships but first you need to determine what you want in life. You want butterflies all your life, you can, but don't stay in a relationship just to prevent him from hurting himself. If you want to try to work it out with your boyfriend, not just pretending, then you need to cut it off with the older guy. It's hard to be with him while you fantasize about the other guy. If you can't resist the older guy, then you need to break it off with your boyfriend, regardless of whether he will actually hurt himself.
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