A
female
age
30-35,
*ooj
writes:It's been for our relationship 2 months . but the problem is he loves me before 4 years but i was a careless "you know i don't care about him" but now this year i liked him, i thought i will be happy with him but i'm not. he loves me in a crazy way, he keeps telling me that he will never leave me he want's to be with me forever, i don't say anything when he tell me that i just smile, but when he says he love me i say "i love you too" i don't want to hurt him so i say it, i really like him and i know he loves me and he will never leave me and i feel safe with him and he will protect me, but i don't love him .So please tell me what should i do?! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): To the OP, you need to address this rather immature attitude you have towards dating and relationships.
Why ask for advice, if you're going to reply, you can't finish with him because it will hurt him, that is NOT a good enough reason for anyone to continue cruelly leading someone on. If you don't want to hurt him, then wake up to reality, this is dating, you have to be adult, and if you can't be, or act in a responsible manner, then DON'T DATE!
The time will come, when you like someone, or even feel in love with them, imagine how you would feel for them to lie to you, lead you on, so you believed there could be a future, get deeper and deeper involved, then he just vanishes because he hadn't got the strength of character to tell you.
If you ask for advice, remember it takes time for people to put an answer together, so consider this, when you 'ignore it' or say say you can't finish with him, just because it's NOT what you want to hear. Advice is not about what you want to hear, or even expect, and my thoughts are, you have no intentions of heeding any advice, as you just want a forum to bleat..yes tough, but I'm thinking about this poor boy you've written on here about, who you have no intentions, so it seems to end his torture!
So if you're going to date, then step up to your responsibilities of not leading someone on, and do the only right and decent thing, let him go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): To the OP, you need to address this rather immature attitude you have towards dating and relationships.
Why ask for advice, if you're going to reply, you can't finish with him because it will hurt him, that is NOT a good enough reason for anyone to continue cruelly leading someone on. If you don't want to hurt him, then wake up to reality, this is dating, you have to be adult, and if you can't be, or act in a responsible manner, then DON'T DATE!
The time will come, when you like someone, or even feel in love with them, imagine how you would feel for them to lie to you, lead you on, so you believed there could be a future, get deeper and deeper involved, then he just vanishes because he hadn't got the strength of character to tell you.
If you ask for advice, remember it takes time for people to put an answer together, so consider this, when you 'ignore it' or say say you can't finish with him, just because it's NOT what you want to hear. Advice is not about what you want to hear, or even expect, and my thoughts are, you have no intentions of heeding any advice, as you just want a forum to bleat..yes tough, but I'm thinking about this poor boy you've written on here about, who you have no intentions, so it seems to end his torture!
So if you're going to date, then step up to your responsibilities of not leading someone on, and do the only right and decent thing, let him go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): You can't go out with him because you feel sorry for him. He is going to get hurt and the longer it goes on, the more hurt he is going to be, I know it's not easy but it is the right thing to do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): Of course it's going to hurt him but staying with him just because you don't want to hurt him is worse.
Tell him, because you're wasting his time and yours. He will get over it eventually.
Are you willing to stay with him, maybe even get married to him? Who knows, he might have plans for you two.
You have to be mature about it and tell him. You don't have to tell him you don't love him but you're going to have to tell him that the relationship isn't working.
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A
female
reader, Jooj +, writes (24 January 2011):
Jooj is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks a lot girls , but i can't tell him that :( , because oncetime i did it , it hurt ed me to see him crush so i went back with him .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): You need to tell him the truth.
He deserves to be with somebody who loves him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): Never say you love someone when you don't and never stay with someone just because you feel safe with him, he deserves more than that.
You have said yourself you are not happy, let him go and don't settle, it's not good for you or them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2011): Never, ever tell anyone you love them, ever if you don't! It is a very cruel act out the age old problem, thinking they must never hurt anyone. That is not real life, people get rejected everyday, always have been, always will, and they get over it, move on and find someone who truly loves them.By NOT telling him you don't feel the same way, is only prolonging his eventual fall out from this, and worse still, he will keep questioning why you said you loved him when you don't. We cannot love everyone who loves us, and you will learn as you date more and more, that the truth is 100 times less painful than being lead to believe someone loves you when they don't.Please tell this boy soon, please don't keep him hanging on any more, let him go completely, allow him to heal from this experience so he may find a girlfriend who feels the same way.Good luck!
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