A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay so some guys think i look not innocent but i really am innocent! i havent done anything bad and they know that, but they think i just look like im not innocent. is that a bad thing? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 So they're saying you look naughty? Well at your age range you shouldn't be looking naughty..Like Tisha explained if it's in how you dress being covered up leaves more up to the imagination. So you don't come off as looking promiscuous sending guys the wrong message about you. Or they could very well be older men preying on younger girls like you. Beware.
Next time a guy says that, ask them "How do I look not so innocent, what makes you perceive me this way?" You're 13-15 of course you're innocent! As long as you're not engaging in sexual acts.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 October 2010):
 Does this mean your clothes make you look, shall we say, "available" for sex talk and sex play? Maybe you are giving off the signals that they interpret as you being sexually active, knowledgable and desiring this type of attention?
It could be very distracting to guys to have thighs, butt and cleavage on display all the time.
It might mean you aren't aware of how you are being perceived. I remember being your age and not knowing what some words meant. I would laugh (out of nervousness) and people thought that I knew what they meant. It meant I got a reputation for being something I wasn't and it was a little bit of a problem as it meant guys expected things. After my boyfriend figured out that it didn't mean I was up for things, I think he cleared that up for me with other people, but it was embarassing.
It's tricky navigating teenage years, the best thing to do is to be true to yourself and not try to grow up too fast. When you look back on this time from the comfortable distance of middle age, you'll feel better about it if you didn't rush into things.
The other gift I'd like to give you is the gift of the question: "What do you mean?" Asking for clarification can often be a very powerful tool to get people to put up or shut up. You have to ask it with a calm, inquisitive look and tone. "What do you mean?" makes someone who has said something ambiguous to be clear about it. It can put that person on the spot and force them to spell it out. It is a question that puts you back in power. Use it!
Good luck.
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