A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So i have been engaged since December, and am living with my fiance. I own the house myself, and he was working two jobs to be able to pay me, as he has one low-paying job that pays off his student loans. However, the second job ended, and now he is not financially contributing to anything... I have been supporting him for two years, although, when he took on a second job for 6 months, he was able to contribute a meager amount... Everytime we go out or do activities, I pay... because I want to be able to do things, and won't deprive myself of that...That's issue #1... His best friend just moved back into town, and I'm supposed to be on their time table for 'doing things'... last night, he wanted me to go to a hockey game with his best friend and I had just returned from swim training and couldn't get ready in time to go out... he offered to take me out to dinner at the place they were going.... pretty much the first time he's ever asked to take ME out... I don't know why i get so angry when he wants to hang out with his friends. I like a couple of them.. The last time one came over, I wasn't aware it was happening until the last minute, the house was a mess, and they were up playing drums until 6:30 am...And it seems that in some situations, if I get into an argument with one of the friends, he'll back them and not me... I think I've come to the realization that i don't like who HE is around his friends, and I want him to take more responsibility... financially, and in terms of how i feel- ie- that i want people to come over to a clean house, that I'm not as 'gowiththeflow' as i used to be, and that it's harder to go with the flow when it's someone else's flow.I don't know what's wrong with me.... every time he wants to do something with his friends, and even include me, I fly into some sort of rage (on the inside)... and he doesn't even hang out with them often at all! I never used to be like this... I used to be fun-loving and the spur of the moment plans wouldn't bother me... but something has changed, and I can't put my finger on it.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (3 June 2011):
 i'm not surprised you are pissed off. sounds like you have grown up but he hasn't and when he gets with his friends they bring out his childish side. no offence but your relationship sounds a bit 'mother and teenage-child'. and as we know - the child is the one in the partnership who does all the taking.
he needs to grow up and start being a man coz i think this is what's causing your annoyance
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