A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 19 years old, i have been with my partner for almost 3 years, we have a son together who is 9 months old. Ever since my son was born im a different person, im a brilliant mum but an awful girlfriend. i been suffering with depression and am in a bad place at the moment, i have done extreme things like an overdose and cut all my long hair off. i dont know why im like this i hate myself, i have been attacking my boyfriend for months now, i have scratched him, spat in his face, pulled his hair, punched him, but he still stays because he loves me. i love him with all my heart and hate the person i have turnt into, i use to be so nice and would never dream of attacking anyone. i constantly accuse him of things, he has his bad parts but there is no excuse for me to treat him like this. he has had enough and i dont know if he will ever take me back, he misses the old me, i really want to change, i want to get out of this dark hole, but i dont think im strong enough, the only person i am strong for is my babyson, i would never try to leave him again. i have tried various tablets from my doctor, i have tried councelling, nothing seems to work i really need some advice im stuck and dont know where to turn. i want my partner back i love him so much i just want us to be a happy little family. please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Mariab +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Hunny... I think you need to be more pro-active and not just rely on pills from the doctor. You are very young... and the responsibility of having a family sometimes can weigh us down. I think you need to take time out for yourself... join a gym... take long walks with baby in pram, run, join a knitting group, cooking class, college... something as an outlet for all the pent-up anger and frustration. You need to work on yourself before you can work on your relationship. If you are not in control of yourself and not happy then how can you make others happy? Good luck xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): You should see a psychiatrist not just a counselor, because you may have bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder or something else, all of which are medical conditions and thus need a psychiatrist to diagnose and prescribe treatment that often includes medication. when you're self harming and also being abusive to your partner you do need professional help but as with any other professionals some individuals are better suited to you so don't give up, continue looking for professional help. it's great that you're aware of your destructive behavior and your abusive behavior toward your bf and you want to stop. many people who have problems controlling their behavior don't take responsibility and blame it on their partners but you're not doing that you're taking full responsibility. That's half the battle already. but you need to continue and persist with getting the professional help that you need and stick with it long enough to see results. Your bf may still put up with it now because he loves you but don't count on it lasting forever if you can't get your behavior under control soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): First, I'm sorry you're suffering this way. I would guess that the stresses of being a young mother and of maybe not having a good support system from your bf and family may be adding to how you feel and you may have hormonal effects from your pregnancy and giving birth. You need to try to get help to talk about these feelings and advice on how to better control them so that you can manage your anger and not be abusive. If your baby sees any or this interaction between you and your bf, it is going to harm him a great deal. It will be a terrible cycle that no one ever gets out of. I would try to take a little time for yourself everyday, go to youtube and look for meditation and self help videos and meditate for 1/2 hour everday. Listen to music that is calming and uplifting. Think positive thoughts. Do exercise every day, whether it is a walk, or some weight training, this will boost your mood with endorphins. Eat well and take care of yourself, drink lots of water. Make sure that you have time to yourself with friends at least once per week, away from your son, so you can get a break. If the meds have not helped try some more and see if there is one that will help you. Try taking melatonin to sleep at night and some vitamins, B12 is and melatonin can help to regulate your hormones and sleep patterns as well as help depression. Eat bananas, they boost seratonin levels and also help your mood and health. Good luck.
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