A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend wants to try anal sex, but i just don't like the idea of it. Is it uncomfortable, or anything? Or should i just not bother trying it :/
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (27 November 2010):
 Anal sex is only something you will enjoy if you want to do it yourself.
If it is the right situation, it doesn't have to be painful. The first time I did it, it was great. A bit weird, but enjoyable because it was taboo. We felt naughty and it was exciting.
Only when you are comfortable with the idea, will you relax and your body relax. This is a must.
Use copious amounts of lube and use a condom the change it when you have vaginal sex. You don't want any bacteria in the vagina or you will get thrush which is very uncomfortable!
Get sexy beforehand. Lots of foreplay. If you are incredibly horny beforehand it will make the experience that much more enjoyable.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): if he takes it slow you migh enjoy it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): First of all: you should both want to try it and discuss it openly. Sex is not something you do "to" or "for" anyone.
Second: in a healthy relationship, you're partner will not force anything on you that you really don't want to do.
Third: anal sex can be fantastic when it is done right, better even than vaginal or oral sex.
What I have learned is that most people DO NOT understand how anal sex works and the misconceptions are legion.
My wife has an orgasm faster and easier with anal sex than anything else.
Things to remember:
1. You and your boyfriend have to be VERY patient. The rectum is very different from a vagina and it takes much more time to achieve a comfortable penetration. Expect it to take at least ten minutes (seriously) from when you first attempt anal penetration until success. He must go slowly and listen to your guidance as to when to proceed and when to stop.
2. Use plenty of lubrication, the right kind of sexual lube, not lotion or saliva. Use it on his penis and on your anus.
3. You can get anal lube that is desensitizing, it works the same as Orajel or toothache gel. This makes it much easier and comfortable. He may wish to wear a condom to avoid numbness.
4. It helps immensely if you are very aroused and wet before going backdoor, preferably after already engaging in foreplay and oral and vaginal sex. Do not start cold.
5. Many women need help in "sexualizing" their anal area. Your partner should gently place his finger on (not in) your anus while performing cunnilingus. And then slowly and gently stimulate the area, with your guidance. This will help you feel good about your ass being sexually stimulated.
6. It will probably be somewhat uncomfortable the first time but it gets much, much better :)
7. You will have access to your clitoris/vulva/vagina while he is engaged below - a great bonus, you will find.
Best of luck
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 It's up to you - just as a reminder, this may be a dealbreaker for him. You have a duty to yourself not to exceed your own limits, but that imposes no duty on him to stay with you.
Doesn't make him a bad guy, or you a bad girlfriend, it just means you have different priorities. Decide what you want, be fully informed, and live with it.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (26 November 2010):
 It hurts like hell. Not going to lie or sugarcoat it for you dear. Even if you do use lube and all the tubes of KY Jelly or Anal-eeze aren't going to make a difference on the level of pain you're going to experience.
Now if someone could come up with a shot to numb the behind then I'd be all for it, but even that would wear off and you'd be stuck with a sore anus.
Like everyone else says, your rear your choice.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (26 November 2010):
 He wants to try anal sex? Sure, why not. try anything once. So buy a dildo and shove it up his ass.
Ah, but that is NOT what he wants to try is it.
Your ass, your choice. Anal sex is almost always better to give to then to receive.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): I have had anal sex with two girls in my life. And both times the girls have not liked it, even though they were the ones that wanted to try it. They said it painful.
All girls I've ever known that have tried anal sex, have wished they hadn't afterwards. They said it was painful. What you see on porn movies, are nasty girls pretending to like it.
From the mans point of view, it's tighter, at first, but once he's in, it's nowhere as nice as being in the vagina.
If you do decided to try it, make sure you use lots of lube, and he uses a condom. It is still possible to get STIs, and for sperm to slip and move to your vagina, so there is still possible to get pregnant. Also make sure he doesn't touch your vagina that has been near your bottom or his penis/condom after it has been near your anal passage.
Bacterial infections can be easily passed.
It is your choice, it is your body. If he gets upset that you won't try, dump him. The Anal passage isn't really meant for things to be going upwards!
Simply, it's not for everyone, but as I as a man, know I don't want to take part in that practice again, because it smells bad, plus being in the vagina is a lot nicer in the long run anyways!
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A
female
reader, lacrymosa_652 +, writes (26 November 2010):
 I should probably let someone more experienced in this field answer your question.. but let me just give my two cents too :)
Okay well if you really don't want to do it, don't! There's no reason why you should feel pressured to.
However if you do decide to have anal sex, make sure you're really relaxed and comfortable.. make sure he's extemely gentle - the anus isn't designed to be penetrated so yeh no hard thrusting on his part, go slowly. Ask him to stop if it hurts. Use PLENTY of lubricant.. buy a water-based one from the chemist, and don't use something like moisturiser or saliva as a lubricant subsitute. Use a condom!
Research the health risks of anal sex, and if they worry you too much then don't do it. But if you do decide to give it a try, follow the above advice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): in my opinion , try anything once , but don't go out of your comfort zone , if you don't like the idea and don't want to , be firm , put your foot down and say no to him. If he truley does care about you , he will understand ;)
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