A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance recently surprised me with an engagement ring. He knew I preferred white gold, but got me a yellow gold one. I do love my ring, but it matches nothing I wear and with me being OCD I'm now having to get all new jewellery and accessories to match.What do I do? If I offer the idea of swapping it for a white gold ring he'll be offended.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 May 2011):
 My engagenment ring was hidious (honestly gaudy!) Not at all my taste,but you know what? I wore it. HE picked it out with ME in mind. However, my wedding band I picked out :)
If it upsets you (I know OCD) I would tell him that you absolutely ADORE the ring, but that you actually would prefer it in white gold, maybe you can get a new one and trade in the old one.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): "You know white gold is just normal gold with a coating? Any yellow gold can be turned to white gold."This is not true. White gold is white in color because it contains more nickel or palladium. It is true that some white gold is yellow gold that is rhodium-plated, which is probably what you are referring to.See: http://www.canadajewels.com/pages/whitegold.htmAs for the question, I really paid attention to the type of jewelry my girlfriend liked so that I wouldn't TOTALLY mess it up. However, if for some reason she didn't like it I would be okay with that. I would love nothing better than to make her happy! I wouldn't be offended at all unless that design had some special significance or it was an heirloom ring or something. Just one guy's opinion.
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A
female
reader, smiliek +, writes (29 May 2011):
 You know white gold is just normal gold with a coating? Any yellow gold can be turned to white gold. My hubby and i both like white gold and when we were picking out rings he really loved the style of a ring that was yellow gold. So they sent it away and it came back white. Any piece of white gold you buy is yellow with the coating so you simply have to ask if you can change it. Then its still the ring your bf bought you but in your colour. Same goes for wedding ring
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 If you think he will be offended, then, as you know him and none of us do, i guess you're right.
Nope. He was a twit to get you what he knew wasn't quite what you wanted, especially if you are OCD, but then again it is an acquired skill, getting presents right, and he hasn't quite got there yet. First rule: if you know for sure what someone likes, don't risk it - get them that.
Anyhow, you can't get him to change it, and you do say you love it. You will just now have to tell him to buy you a load of matching jewels. If he says 'why?' say because all the rest is white. Then he either says 'easier to change the ring' or buys new ...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 May 2011):
This is why if I get married I'm just going to take my fiance with me to get the ring. That should make it fool-proof with any luck!Back to the point - he probably should have known better than to buy you yellow gold, given that he knows you don't like it and that you have OCD that might affect you. I suspect he bought that because he was entirely unique, given that you don't have other yellow gold. And I do think his heart was in the right place. If you really must change it, I'd say to him that you're over the moon he's asked you, that you really want to marry him - but that you can feel your OCD taking hold of you, and would he come with you to change it for white gold instead. Hopefully, whilst he might be a bit hurt, he'll say yes and that'll be problem solved. I would only do that though, if you really cannot get over the yellow gold - because remember it will be your wedding ring that you'll be wearing for the rest of your life, not your engagement ring.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (29 May 2011):
 I was in a similar position to you recently.My partner bought me a watch for my birthday, and I HATE wearing watches. I dont even wear bracelets because I dont like tight things around my wrist. And worst of all he knows it! I did tell him and he was a bit like "You didn't tell me that! I know you like being on time to things, thats why I bought it and you dont have one."I did feel really bad because hes generally not a gift buyer. And also pissed off because I already told him I wanted a necklace with a heart pendant. SO...just tell him that you love that you put the thought in but you want the ring that you will wear for the rest of your life and you just dont feel an emotional connection to this ring. If I were a guy, I would want my fiance to be happy with the ring.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (29 May 2011):
 it depends on his personality as to whether he gets offended at this or not and you know him better than any of us! you hopefully will be wearing that ring every day for the rest of your life so you want to have one that you love and i am sure your fiancé would prefer that you have what you want rather than something you don't really like because you are worried about upsetting him. maybe you could ask him to buy you lots of yellow gold jewellery to go with it coz then maybe he would rather let you exchange the ring for a white gold one! :)
x
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