A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't like sex, I never have and I don't think I ever will. I'm not asexual, I'm anti-sexual.For me, sex has a negative impact on a relationship not a positive. I think as a man, if you have a sexual relationships with a women they judge you on your penis, not on you as a person. For the record I'm 6.5 in length (non bone pressed), so not too bad, but the point is, even if I had a penis 8.5, I'd be judged as a person by a long piece of flesh that I have no control over.Positive or negative points to sex are irrelevant, I've come to the conclusion that most relationships only work if you have a good sex life. But sex itself is a despicable act, it's only there to procreate at the end of the day, and since I don't want children there's no reason for me to do it.I want a women who's psychically attractive and intelligent but who has no interest in sex. That way I know for sure this person cares about me, not if I'm great at sex because I have no interest in it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2009): I totally , totally relate to how you feel. I completely stopped having sex for several years but then i met my current boyfriend and fell in love with him and , unfortunately he was like a sex addict. I learned not to mind it but if he suddenly wasnt able to get his penis up, i would be quite content. But the irony is, now my boyfriend doesnt seem to want to have sex and even though I still dont really like it, I want him to want me and it is bothering me now . I personally think it is wonderful when a man isnt all about sex ( as most men seem to be ). It would be so much more pleasant to be with a man who is affectionate and loving instead of horny .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): I've had a bad history with sex, I hate it. I just want someone to care about me and love me and not get into the whole sex thing. I was abused, I can't have children, I have a naturally low libido, for these reasons I'm just not into sex, but that doesn't mean I don't want to love and be close to someone. I have no interest in penis size, no interest in penises at all, actually. It's wrong that some people are more into physical stuff than emotional real connections. I wish I could have found a guy like you, I would have loved to be with someone who cares about me, not sex. This probably isn't the best advice, since I'm messed up in this department, but girls like me do exist.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): I really can't speak to what you say, as I just can't relate to what you feel. However, I think I can comment on your thinking about penis size and how women view your sexual ability. It is my opinion that few care much about penis size, unless it is too small to have sex or so large that it hurts or makes sex difficult.My wife has had sex with men who were from 4 inches to 8 inches, as best as she can remember and guess at. She also has had sex with men in between, as I am. She never cared about penis size. She never really cared much about how good the guy was at sex either. The important things to her were how caring and affectionate he was. She would rather be with a guy who tried to give her an orgasm and cared about it, who wanted to cuddle after sex and treated her well in other ways than how he was at screwing. I wasn't the longest, the shortest, the thickest or the thinnest, but I was the best at caring about her enjoyment of sex and I am also very affectionate. There was only one other guy who met these requirements. I'm sure that some others were better at screwing her than I was or are now, but she won't admit that. In any case, that wasn't the important thing.Women don't look at just one thing in a relationship. They look at the entire relationship. I don't know about most guys, but that is how I feel about relationships. My wife wasn't the best in bed or the most passionate, but she was the most affectionate and the most loving. That is why I wanted her instead of the other women. There are also non-describable feelings that make one person want another.If you have never had sex then you really can't know what it is like. It is not just getting a blowjob and screwing. It is about cuddling, kissing, gently touching and just feeling closeness. There will be a feeling of love at times and just the enjoyment of the sex and being close other times.I imagine that there are women who feel the same as you do and just want a marriage for companionship or to have someone around to help out. I don't think that I have ever met one of those, at least not anyone who I was close enough to to know. The women who I have dated desired sex in some form. When younger it was kissing and cuddling and when older it was actual sex.You don't have to be great at sex. You just have to be good to her, care about her and give her enough caring sex to make her happy. If you are caring and affectionate then that will go farther than how well you can screw for most women.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (13 September 2009):
 There exists some women with whom a platonic relationship is preferable. All you need to do is find one and befriend them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): Hello everybody. I read what you all wrote here and I wanna say that I agree with him !
I'm 21 yrs old and I don't like sex too ! I also feel that sex would hurt more than make fun in any relationship. I tried to listen to many boys trying to convince me that sex is something WoW but I cant believe it !
It's just make me feel like OH MY GOD, I CAN'T IMAGINE !!
Thanks every one =)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2009): I am the Man who created this question.First and foremost, I have had sex. I didn't like it, I found it boring.Secondly I do want a women who's attractive, I don't mean supermodel looks, but someone who I have some sort of attraction to.Thirdly, I have Narcissistic personality disorder, so intimacy I have no interest in. I find the sky, the stars and trees around me as a form of intimacy and that's more then enough. Sex to me is just an animistic act, not something I care for, it's merely a boring form of exercising.I guess from my perspective, I see it is irrelevant (sex that is), but a GF is something I would like.In relation to my penis, yes I'd like it bigger, but not to have sex, just so it was bigger. Even though I know it's about average.
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A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (12 September 2009):
Your pretty judgemental youself there buddy. You want a woman whos physically attractive but doesnt want to fornicate. I mean that soundd just as shallow if you ask me. If you dont want to have sex then dont. whatever floats your boat but dont pick on the rest of us that love it. and for your info there is more to a man than the size of his penis there is more to sex and making love than just sticking it in and out of a hole. you can have sex mentally and spiritually with out even touching a woman but i dont suspect that that interests you at all since you think its all despicable.
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A
female
reader, Leah123  +, writes (12 September 2009):
Erm, I think you are being a little harsh here, women won't judge you by your size (I think males are actually more worried about it than we are...the fact that you give out your size kinda proves it). Also, if you've never had sex, you cannot really judge can you?It is true a healthy sexual life is important in a relationship. But so is respect, mutual support, mental connection, friendship, patience and common values. And a solid sense of humour. There are are so many factors that determine the success of a relationship, sex is not necessarily the most important one. In the end of the day, sex is a tiny part of this very complex thing we call love (which you haven't mentioned for some reason...they are very much linked in my opinion though)Perhaps you should start looking out for the 'psychically attractive and intelligent' woman of your lives; then you will sort this issue between yourselves.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (12 September 2009):
 You won't know until you have tried it's like saying I hate chicken having never tasted it....But if you don't want sex, don't have sex, and make sure whoever you date knows you aren't into it. If it bothers you see a psychiatrist.But a point to think about, if sex is just to reproduce, what is kissing for?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Sex doesnt make or break a relationship, I was with my boyfriend 5 months before we decided to have sex, but I already love him as a person by then and its not changed anything in our relationship just that we are closer as a couple. Sex is the most intimate thing you can do with a partner but should only happen if you are both ready, not to help solve things. But the opinion you have on the subject of sex is that, your opinion.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (12 September 2009):
 Well, there are only two things that I can see here.
1-You are a virgin with no experience, and are making conclusions that are rooted in what you THINK is going to happen, not what has happened. (I have worked with alot of adult male virgins, and this attitude is typical. Have a 4 CD program on it).
2-You have a deep rooted fear of intimacy, and are using your hatred of sex as a means to maintain your fear. It is possible that you grew up in an environment where you were taught to be a self-hating male or to hate sex, or you have a fear of sexual rejection, or maybe you were sexually abused...but they all lead to the same ends: a fear of intimacy.
The fact that you would want to know what others think about this, tells me that on some level, you know there is something more going on inside you and you are looking for possible answers.
-Frank Kermit
http://www.franktalks.com
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (12 September 2009):
That's nice.
So if you are happy in yourself and your plan for life why are you here?
What's your question?
What drove you to come to a problem page and tell us this?
Good Luck!! xx
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