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age
30-35,
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writes: Hiya everyone!(I've asked a similar question to this before, but I think this one is more focused to the point.)I'm "at risk of becoming overweight" and I'm not comfortable with my weight at all. I'm a serious athlete and I'm losing fat fast. I think that if I keep training, I'll get to a reasonably happy place.My bf, on the other hand, is not so much of an athlete. He does t have the insane competitive spirit that I have, and that's probably a good thing. He too is either overweight or at risk of becoming overweight. He's convinced he'll lose, and he's determined, but I think I'm inadvertently discouraging him. I have a severe knee injury, yet I run a 7:34 mile, as opposed to his 9:30-10.I feel like he's gorgeous and I'm not, and he's the one that's down on himself more. It affects my self esteem that my bfs is in such an odd position, constantly pitted against the scale. I don't like my body, who does, but I think that both of us need to just accept the facts. What can I do to help both of us?Thanks so much!-GG
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female
reader, night gurl  +, writes (30 July 2009):
 hey what you can do is encourage him more what you can do is run with him for like 5 min then take a 5 min break cuz your knee, bring a little snack with you like carrots or some kind of heathy food you both like, you need food cuz it teaches your metabolism to burn fat more efficently and if you wanna lose weight eat a very light snack before bed as this helps your metabolistm to burn fat even when your asleep and it would burn more if you did this often good luck.
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female
reader, LAdiiSuPahSt4r  +, writes (24 April 2009):
 Well if your trying to help his self esteem. Why don't you weigh him, get his height, get and water weight. Explain to him how all that matches up and that he is in perfect condition. If he still doesn't budge then let him set a goal for himself and she if he feels better !!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, I don't think that he's overweight--he does and according to doctors, we are both "at risk".
I'm not obsessed, I'm an athlete, and my team practices every day, 3 hours a day. His team is less active though... I'm not obsessed, my boyfriend is the one affecting me about the issue.
Neither of us would choose to be constantly tormented by it, but doctors are pushing us to lose.
I want to help his self-esteem, because he's so down on himself!
Just to clarify!
Thanks!
-GG
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female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 Well stop thinking he is overweight is a good start! If you think he is overweight/at risk of being overweight then clearly this will be rubbing off on him therefore he will feel that you dont find him attractive.
You are too young to be worrying about this and I am worried you seem to be doing fairly severe exercise - this is a very bad idea when you are under the age of 16. You will be putting too much strain on your body when it is still growing, you need to take care of your bones and joints when you are still so young.
I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself to lose weight to the point where you are becoming obsessive, and this is rubbing off on your boyfriend. If you are constantly obsessing over how fast you can run a mile etc then your boyfriend will also end up feeling inadequate because you spend so much time trying to achieve this "prefect body".
Just relax your own attitude to your weight and exercising, and then he will also relax too and start to feel more comfortable with his own body. You are right in thinking that you need to accept the way your bodies are and be happy with that. There is a fine line between exercising to be fit and healthy, and becoming obsessed with exercise to the point where it is affecting your life and relationships.
Being healthy is good - being obsessed with it is bad. Maybe try doing some sports together like tennis or badminton, they are less strenous on your body and wont make your boyfriend feel inadequate compared to you. Ease off the running a little, pushing yourself to run when you have a bad knee injury will really come back to haunt you when you are older (i.e. you will have severe arthritis or possibly osteoporosis). Bear in mind that what you do to your body now will impact your life in the future; so just chill out a bit more and let your body finish growing!
You will find that when you are older your body will be more in proportion than it is right now and what you think is fat now will actually even out in the future and you will be much happier with your body.
So stop putting this pressure on yourself and in turn this will reduce the pressure on your boyfriend to lose weight. Being together should be fun and you should make each other feel good, not making each other feel depressed. Try complimenting him more, make him feel sexy and wanted.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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female
reader, LAdiiSuPahSt4r +, writes (23 April 2009):
Why don't you all talk about your eight issue's and then lose weight together or go on Couple's Diet that way both of you can live, healthy, happilly after. Hope I helped
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