| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: hi,i am in a 2 years relationship with a guy i really love. however, we are very different from each other.one:i hate living in a sin (sex and all). he wiling to put hold off of his sexuality just because of this. but when he put off, he totally putting it off. it is like he has no attraction and we just become friends. honestly, i realize women are better in controlling themselves whenever we are horny because when i become a bit flirty to him (just to tease and have fun), he scold me cuz that is frustrating on his side. in the end, after many discussions and arguments, i realized it will not work like this. so we got intimate whenever appropriate.he is an adult student here. and i am a working adult. he has a part time job that pays by hour. so in morning he goes off to school and in afternoon till after midnight he goes to work. here got two issues. two:i am really ready to be his wife and i really want to have children with him. he too actually want that as there were times he told me bout having our kids to have his sleepy eyes and my cute nose and so on. but he said, there is no way he could go right up to my father and ask to marry me as he is only a student with not much of income. he said, he is a man and man don't want to let go off their daughter to another man like that. so, he ask me to wait till he graduate his diploma and get a proper job.three:his schedule is really tight. it is actually kinda frustrating to me. i work mon to sat 9.30am to 6pm. i used to have two jobs before where it keeps me 9am to 10.30pm, but i quit the other job to self integrity. since i now have one job, i kinda look forward to spend it with him, but with his work and assignments and soon exam, it is difficult for him to squeeze me in his tight schedule. therefore, i visit my grandma any other times he cannot see me. i am trying to be understanding, but it is frustrating. he mention don't ever compare myself to his work or school. he loves me, but he need to survive too.four:as i am the one making more money, i usually be the one to pay for stuffs. he doesn't really like that and feel a bit ashamed. so he work harder now that he is coming back up to 3 or 4am... sometimes 5am.. he tried to pay for things as well, but not the expensive things. for example, i pay for 2 movies ticket while he pays for popcorn. i pay for TGIF while he pays for KFC. things like this. this is making me feel less of a woman actually - as i started to behave like a man. due to this, i get angry at him easily. i snapped at him when he doesn't listen or didn't do what i asked him to do. i know this kinda hurt him too. he always answer to me softly and said 'honey, remember, i am still a man', when he got angry he would said semi calmy 'so u r the man now is it, just because u have more money'. i honestly feel bad for him. i didnt meant to disrespect him.. really.. i just don't know why.so you see, we actually have a problem and i don't know what to do.. should i let him him to put it off first? should i wait for him to finish school? should i keep it up? what am i to do...? and also me being disrespectful by snapping at his like that isn't good at all.. i know he loves me as much as i love him (possible he loves me more), but with this kind of issue is burdening me down.. i really don't like to live in a sin.. i am starting to believe that all this issue is pressuring me and i end up scolding and blaming him for it..honestly, i love him because he is like no other man i have dated before. he gives me love which makes me feel content. he tried to be understanding. and patient with me and my very sensitive emotional (by the way, i am very sensitive). when i shut these issue off, i practically in heaven in his arms. unfortunately, i cannot shut it out all the time.. even he keeps quiet, i know it is hurting him too..any advice...?
View related questions:
flirt, horny, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 You know the situation he is in and you will have to make big sacrifices for this relationship. You need to do this because you love him and for your future.
It is like investing in a money making venture. You need to plough in some capital to sustain the project in the interim before it starts to be fruitful.
Treat him like a man and be patient until he graduates and get a job.If you love this man , that is the sacrifice you will have to make.
|
