A
female
age
36-40,
*aisy_doll
writes:Late last year I was approached by a man in a pub and he offered to buy me a drink. I initially declined but my friends pushed me to accept so I did; at the end of the night we exchanged numbers (he asked, I gave). We began to text, then spend some time together and were on the road to a great relationship. Then he got cold feet. he expressed the fear that he would be a horrible boyfriend and things stopped. Although we were akward at first, we put efforts into maintaining a friendship. We would meet occasionally and chat from time to time and were on an amicable level. Then, prior to me moving accross country to pursue a new career, I expressed that I still had deep seated feelings for him, to him. We then decided to take some space when I moved and we'de begin communicating when I was settled and we were both comfortable.That all happened over about 3 months. I have now been in my new home for 3 months and we are talking (he actually re-added me to his Facebook about 2 days I had removed him.) Much of the communication comes from him and I more often than not I reply.He has recently expressed that he is going to be moving to the same city in the near future and we have been talking more frequently and more comfortably. That aside, my problem is, I am having a very hard time maintaining interest in other men (this has been since he and I parted ways). Although I have pursued other relationships, been dating ( I have had people show interest in me and vice versa), because I do not want to hold false hope with the aforementioned man and wish to move on. But I never remain interested past the first date. I stop returning phone calls, make excuses not to go for second dates, and generally avoid the individual. I have always thought about this same man quite frequently; I miss him greatly.I feel so overwhelmed! What should I do?
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male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Well, maybe you should ask God for help. And if that doesn't work, you can only do what you think is right at the time. And hope that he asks you out. Let him make the first move.
You are under no obligation to ask him out because he stuffed things up. It's his fault.
I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): Is is already not "keeping all her eggs in one basket" she has said she is trying to date other people!
To the poster I would say, you seem to have a connection to this man on a deeper level, don't you. But you want the relationship to progress in a way which he does not seemingly agree.
I think with this amount of time that has passed, it would not be pushy for you to be a little more direct with this man to let him know more clearly where you want this relationship to be going.
When he responds, you can get a good judge to see how open he is to moving things along, and also if on the other hand, he looks awkward, or having given it a few weeks after you're talk, you see no change, perhaps you will have to make the painful decision to cut contact, and get over this man. So that your heart is ready to love again, with a new man.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 Don't keep all your eggs in one basket.
You should always keep your options open. You will never know if the one for you is him or somebody else.
What if he is not the one ?
You would have lose all those good opportunities to know other men.
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