A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I don't like how much this girl affects me. I met her in October of 2012, and still cannot stop getting that tight throbbing in chest when I see her or someone mentions her. When we met, I was depressed. She saw the cuts on my wrist and showed me hers. To this day I do know what I was feeling when I met her. It was a bizarre combination of love, helplessness, fear, and vulnerability. I wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry. She somehow found me on Facebook and we started talking after that. I eventually asked her out, but she had just gotten out of a relationship. After that we still talked every now and then. Around December that year, she got back with her ex. It didn't affect me at the time since I was in my own happy relationship. I did eventually get over her, but it didn't last long. This past September, I was tripping on acid (please, no lectures) and something-I don't remember what- made trip go bad. I freaked out and ended up annoying her. I tried to apologize but she didn't respond at all. Now she wont even talk to me and here I am still obsessing over her again. I hate it. It makes me feel so pathetic and angry. Nobody should affect anyone this way.I have no idea what to do. I tried waiting for the feelings to fade, but look where that got me. I'm just lost.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2014): Think you have been given some really good advice by the two men who took the time to reply. As a women who lived with an addicted partner for far too long, this girl has given you & her the best chance either of you will ever have. You are so young, the world and life is waiting for you.
Get help, give it time then apologise. You may find you have moved on with regard to your feelings for her by then, but that isn't important.
I wish you so much luck & strength, be kind to yourself because its an old classic but true, love yourself and then your in a position to love others.
You sound like a good person with a good hart, so get on a good path & love & happiness will follow. x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2014): Why did you write DearCupid? Did you realize this is where people come for advice and opinions? We help people here.
How can we help if you say no lectures?
You walked through the door, now you're in our house.
You can't love someone you just met and don't know.
You related to the girl; because you see that you and she have a lot of problems in-common. Just because you cut yourselves. That was a sign she came from the same dysfunctional messed up family-situation as you may have.
It's nice to be able to relate with someone on any level. There is no love involved. You're hooked on the fact you met someone who has problems like you do; and it's lonely dealing with difficult stuff at your age. No one really understands you. All they ever do is tell you what's wrong with you; and how bad you are. No body really shows you any love or attention. You think you're cool and can get along without it. You're tough and you survive on your own; and all you need is acid and you can block it all out. You turn into a total a-hole when you do it. She had to get away from you.
You obviously get high. You have some real emotional problems and you're experimenting with some heavy drugs.
You're under the age of 18, so your body is still growing and your mind is still developing. Well, things are not working in reverse. You mind is no longer developing as it should. You're not giving it a chance.
The drugs are effecting your mental development; and that is the reason one girl has got you totally screwed up. Even she doesn't want anything to do with you. She might have her problems, but she realizes you're worse off than she is.
Dude, yours is a lonely existence. People strung out and scrambling their brains don't look out for each other. They don't have the facilities to advise you, and they really don't give a shit about you. You tell people not to lecture you; then ask people to help you, while you're destroying your mind. Going nowhere.
Get help. Find yourself a counselor who understands you.
Someone you can unload some of that crap going on inside of you. That girl was the only thing that woke up some good feelings inside you.
You've been out there living in a world of zombies, then here comes this girl. She doesn't want your apologies; because she knows how messed up you are. She knows it's better to get away from you. You're not going anywhere.
Get yourself some help man. Hang on. Whatever put you where you are now is what's messing with your head. That girl is the only good thing you can think about. That's what the problem is.
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A
male
reader, jc2008  +, writes (24 January 2014):
Hey man, it sounds like you need some time alone to work yourself out and get yourself some professional help while you are still young. I guess you feel you can relate to her but in reality you harldy know her. Say sorry if you have hurt her and see what happens but if I'm honest you need to take care of yourself first. I hope everything works out for you.
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