A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:There is a guy I met 3 years and I thought he could have been a potential suitor. Recently I have started to become aware of things that I do not like about him.Before the lockdown he would spend hours a day on Facebook. He has nearly 2000 liked pages and he 'likes' virtually any post or photos that his friends post. He posts and shares lots of photos/articles as it is quite clear he is seeking validation.He tried to make me feel 'special' but I have since noticed he was posting the same old chat up lines on another woman's profile picture.In the past he accidentally sent me a picture of a woman in a bikini posing against a car and apologised and sent another 'joke' meme but I overlooked them. Recently he has been sending me 'joke' videos and memes but he has sent too many rude ones. Some of these videos are home made porn or pictures of naked women's breasts.I am really put off this guy and understand now why he is in his 40s and never had a relationship. I feel in his head he has built up an image of me and is obsessed with me just because I have replied to his messages. I have only seen him about 8 times in 3 years but he keeps on persisting. I find it weird as we are strangers and he has no idea what I am really like just basing it from social media. In person he is socially awkward. I know men are 'visual' but I think this guy crosses the line and is objectifying women. Recently he put some videos on his social media that he had recorded about the lockdown which I think he did just to get validation likes. I noticed on the video his flat was a complete mess yet he has time to spend hours on social media and look at naked women's bodies.I am quite angry now, how can I get rid of this guy who is a complete mess out of my life? I want a gentleman who is focused on his goals, not women's bodies.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (15 April 2020):
 You had high hopes for this guy but he turned out to be a sleazebag. That's what dating is all about: sorting out the wheat from the chaff.
You now know a relationship with him is not something you want, so just cut contact. Why does it have to be more complicated than that? Or is there more to this situation than you have posted?
In your shoes I would tell him you don't want to hear from him any more because the things he sends you make you uncomfortable, then delete and block him. End of story.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (15 April 2020):
 So block him. simple.
But the real issue here is that you have tolerated his poor behavior for three years before it dawned on you that he wasn't what you want.
Why?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 April 2020):
 Being a "visual creature" gives him 0 ZERO right to send you explicit messages or picture. That is because he is a dick with absolutely no clue or social skills and BECAUSE you let him "get away with it"!
BLOCK him, UNFRIEND him and move ON. It's not that hard.
You have already determined he isn't a man you see having ANYTHING to do with so why not just pull off the band aid and get rid?
No need to make a bid deal out of it, just BLOCK and UNFRIEND and voila! you can't see his shit, he can't contact you! Freaking EASY!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2020): Tell him to stop sending you videos and discontinue contacting you. Then block and delete all his messages, block him from all your social media accounts; and never open another video from a him, or any source you cannot identify. If he continues after asking him to stop; you contact the police, and you send a complaint to all your social media accounts for violations of their online-conduct policies.
That's not so hard.
You're jealous, but want to keep the guy? Is that the case? It's unnecessary drama.
I think you're mature and experienced enough to have figured this one out without requesting advice. What else should you do if you're creeped-out by somebody online? How does this ruin your life? It's simple to resolve.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2020): It seems that you are angry because you still harbor romantic feelings for him. You built up hopes, but you need to recognize his true colors now.
This man is a creep, as you rightly identified. He is literally sending you messages of naked women. He is trying to send you a signal: he wants sex out of you. Sex and only sex. Further, he is sending porn to you WITHOUT your consent, and other women's photos without THEIR consent. that is VERY creepy and shows he doesn't care for consent at all, but will sexualize everything he wants. He may even want to stalk you or may be into sexual harrassment & worse if it goes that far. Where is he getting these photos of women's body parts? You have no idea. He could be taking them himself without them knowing. This is NOT a compliment from him, this is strange harrassment behavior.
NO, no no no. Everything about this situation SCREAMS no!
All you have to do is BLOCK this man, plain and simple. He will no longer be able to message, harass you and will be stopped from gaining further info on you and your whereabouts. I would be concerned at this point if he knows any info about you.
Come on, you KNOW better. You need to cut ties FAST. There are MUCH better men out there. I would say he is likely a sexual predator, criminal behaviour is quite likely.
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