A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is bothering me and I would like some advice please. This is a silly problem but if anyone could give some help please - Ive heard the 'just get over it' and it doesnt work! My boyf is great and we have a good relationship. He has had a few previous girlfriends and I am ok with all of that except paradoxically for one girl because she is kind of in his group of friends so I see her from time to time. I never know when she will turn up and when she does her close friends ignore me. Its always on nights out so always drinking involved I have never seen her in the daytime. Soemtimes I feel insecure about their relationship and was it better physically etc or did they have more fun - no reassurances really help. She gets on with his mates better than I do (they seem to like her more). So I know this is a bit pathetic but I do get upset about it and dont like it when the two of them are out and I am not. I never think or worry about his other exes who he actually really loved. I really jsut dont watn to see this girl its not that I have anything against her. Has anyone any practical advice please?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): Hi guys thanks for your advice, really appreciated. I have talked to him about it quite a bit and he never accuses me of being jealous but he says what can he do about it, its not like he invites her out she just turns up etc. I could stop going out but then I wouldnt see his mates that much anymore as they all go out together for nights out - that doesnt seem ideal as I want to be friends with his mates too. So you see I cant really avoid seeing her I just want to stop feeling upset about it. Does that make sense?
A
male
reader, WindupBird  +, writes (11 May 2009):
 Hi there,First, I just want to say that you're completely justified in being upset -- spending time with an ex is a touchy proposition at best and it sounds like your boyfriend isn't treating the situation with the tact it calls for.So...like everyone else will probably tell you -- talk to him, tell him how you feel, but as you do so remember that your concerns are totally justified and if he tries to make you feel like a 'jealous girlfriend' for having them ignore it and stand your ground.You are the woman he is with right now and your feelings should come first for him. Once he realizes he's hurting you he should desist in his behavior.Bonne chance :-)
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