A
male
age
30-35,
*obbay123
writes:Hi, I'm 15. I've been single for almost 2 years now.My hearts always out to beautiful girls I cant have.But this one girl likes me. She's crazy for me.But I dont like her back. I don't consider her to be my type nor beautiful.I feel bad for saying it, but that's how I feel.But... I like the attention of being fancied, because I dont get it much.Is it okay to feel this way? And what should I do about this girl? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 It is good that you posted here. Just think how you would feel if a girl used you for awhile until she found someone better. I don't think you would like it at all.
Do you realize the way you feel about this girl you don't find attractive and are not interested in is most likely the way the super hot girls feel about you?
I know hotness is key for people your age but one day you'll see the opposite sex as a whole and not just their appearance. There are plenty of girls out there who may not be super model league but who are loving, smart, and interesting.
Good luck! xo
A
male
reader, bobbay123 +, writes (2 June 2008):
bobbay123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys!
As it happens I haven't really explained in much detail...
I've already taken her aside and said I dont feel the same way, and that I only wish to be friends.
She's all cool with that. But she still likes me, and I know that, and I've accepted that.
My real problem is: I've been Single for two years. I need a girlfriend. This girl is my only opportunity. But I don't want to use her. After all, it's not about having the girlfriend, it's about loving them. Right?
I really enjoy having her like me. She's one of those clingy girls who doesn't know when to let go of something.
I feel bad, because I've felt strong temptation to be a little flirtacious and lead her on so she still likes me, but then gently let her down again.
However I had this done to me, and it's annoying because it's hard to get over someone you really like. I've refrained from doing this but is there someone who can help me with this problem?
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A
female
reader, toni246 +, writes (1 June 2008):
I would let her down gently by pulling her aside from her friends and your friends and make sure no one is about and then tell her that you only just want to be friends. Then she wont be embarrassed and then tell her friends that she didnt fancy you anyway. This saves embarrassment for you and her at the same time
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 June 2008):
It's fine to feel good about yourself when someone finds you attractive, you'd be odd if you didn't.
As for what to do about the girl, DO NOT give into temptation and go out with her just to feel good about yourself. That would be lying to her, using her, and in the long term seriously hurting her and possibly messing up her future relationships because she will have self esteem / trust issues. Plus, word will get round all the girls in the school that you are evil and no one will want to go out with you.
Be nice to her but don't get too close to her. If you don't flirt or pay her much attention she will get the message you don't like her and hopefully get over you eventually.
It's not nice liking someone who doesn't like you back, as you said you've felt yourself.
Be a good guy and you'll find a great girl eventually for yourself.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): heya,
im 16 and female and have the same problem with a guy!!
he's crazy about me and its so bad i almost feel as if i have a stalker... i hate it because i don't feel the same way, never have and never will!
i feel bad saying this but he's so clingy and has a girlfriend!!!
i'm just trying to aviod him as much as possible which is kinda easy cos we have our GCSEs at the moment and we're going to college soon, but he says he wants to go to what ever college i go to!!
i think yeah it is ok to feel that way and to just avoid her for the time being!
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