A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I think I'm over reacting but I thought I would ask anyways. I've always been an emotional person and I get my feelings hurt easily. A friend of my boyfriend has really hurt my feelings twice now. The first time was he called me an 'effing bitch' (using the f word) and made comments that I wasn't that good of a person. He then said he was just kidding and apologized to my boyfriend (my boyfriend and another person nicely told him that I was a good person and that he shouldn't of said that) but he didn't apologize to me. The second time was at my little house party I had last weekend. He again called me the b word and then told my boyfriend "the bitch knows I'm kidding" I didn't say anything but I actually went to the bathroom after that and cried for a few minutes before I could go back to the party. I do come off as a shy and a bit of a quiet person too, I think he has gotten the wrong impression of me because him and I haven't talked much at all. I am very nice though to him and everybody else I don't know if I'm taking this too seriously and just over reacting or what. Really the one reason I'm so upset about this is that I don't want people to think I'm a bitch and I especially don't want my boyfriend's friends to think that way about me. Should I try and become nicer and friendlier with the guy who's said this?
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (16 May 2013):
 Stop worrying about what other people think and start worrying about yourself.
Your bf is an emotional abuser and you should not put up with that kind of treatment. It never gets better, only worse.
Regardless of what you do, you will never please your bf's friends so stop trying. Be yourself and if they dont like you, well it is their loss.
Also, please reconsider your relationship with your bf, do you really enjoy being sworn at?
You dont sound happy at all, so maybe you should rather move on with your life and find someone who will treat you with respect.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 May 2013):
 Is it OK to call a black person the n word? Then why would it be OK for him to call you a bitch? This guy is a misogynist, why would you try to be nicer to him?
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (16 May 2013):
 Um no. No one "jokes" when they call someone a fucking bitch. Your boyfriend's mate is an asshole.
Give him back a taste of his own medicine. When he acts like an asshole, act like a bitch right back to him. I learned a loooong time ago sometimes men just won't respect you unless you can act like a bigger cunt than them.
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A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (16 May 2013):
He sounds like an nasty person. We all have opinions about other people but him calling you the B word is unacceptable! Twice is so wrong. I'd talk to your boyfriend and make it clear how hurtful his friends' comments are. You're right to be upset. If that doesn't help, I'd avoid his friend. Be polite e.g say hello and that but stay away from him. You don't have to try to get him to see that you're an ok person nor do you deserve to be insulted. As long as you're nice to people, there's no need to worry that they think you're a b*tch. Sadly whether we're nice or nasty to people, they'll always find fault with us. Don't try to please anyone, just be yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): No. I don't think you need to be any friendlier than what comes naturally for you. Never kiss anyone's butt to make a friend. That's cowardice. You're just a nice girl with an easy-going disposition. Be yourself. For his sake, step a little out of character.Just develop a sense of humor and a thicker skin. You can't fall to pieces, because someone calls you a name. He is pushing your buttons; because he thinks you're a bit "prissy." You may come off a bit snobbish or prudish. Most girls would have a comeback for a guy like that.He is a stupid adolescent man-child, and you may quote me with a big grin on your face. Then excuse yourself to go powder your muzzle. You can use that the next time he calls you the b-word. Nothing works better than shock effect. If he comes back with another insult, ask him does it turn him on to talk dirty to his buddy's girlfriend? Always smile and throw one back. It'll take the wind out of his sails, and verbally assaulting you won't be as much fun anymore. Have a snappy comeback for this guy, and he'll settle down. You're just an easy target. Ask everyone how can you tell the guy with the smallest penis? He's the guy with the biggest mouth. Point at him!Always be a lady. Sometimes when they ask for a bitch, you have to show them one.Let him have it. Then laugh it off. Snap your fingers and fling your hair for effect. Then quickly change the subject and ignore him from that point on, no matter what he says.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2013): I think you should tell your boyfriend that he's making you feel this way, and if he just brushes it off, then try telling the guy who did it that he's hurting your feelings. I know what it's like to be very emotional, I am too. I tend to take things much more seriously than they were meant if I don't know the person well. If telling him right out (the guy who did it) that he's making you feel bad doesnt work, then maybe try to become a little more comfortable with him and try to see if be does that with everyone or not. If not, you have a right to be PO'd so ye.
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