A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidI am a petite person.yesterday my bf (of 2 years) told me one of our common friends was teasing abt me that how my how short i look when i drive, how tiny my arms feet look and how i look like an egg plant....I asked him how he reacted, he said he was laughing with them. I was deeply hurt, now he is saying that i am being very sensitive. Am i being sensitive, how could he just laugh when someone tease me like this when i am not even there. I really dont like being a laughing stock.Am i over reacting, pls help me
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female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (31 March 2012):
 Hi,
I think you are overreacting.... He was laughing, but I don't think he was laughing at you, but the simple fact that he probably thinks you're adorable and cute!... Otherwise, if he thinks you are an egg, and don't like your physical looks, he wouldn't be with you... Sorry that you felt this way. I hope you feeling better, and change the way you think and feel.
Best wishes
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (30 March 2012):
 I think eggplants are lovely! They're gorgeous plants; I wouldn't mind being referred to an eggplant. Better than people saying you look like a farm animal.
Did your common friend say this to your face, or talking about you behind your back?
If this friend was talking about you behind your back then they weren't laughing with you..more or less at you. I agree you boyfriend shouldn't have chuckled along with them. Instead changed the subject. However, he did tell you what that friend said.
There's not much you can do but just ignore it. You can't change your body (well surgical procedure) and you need to embrace what you were born with. People don't have to accept your petite frame, but you do.
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A
female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 It's about boundaries. Your height is a sensitive issue for you. Whilst you might expect people you don't care about to laugh behind your back, you didn't expect it from your boyfriend. He's supposed to stick up for you when you are there and when you are not. I suspect the reason why he did it was to fit in with his friends at that time.
When people are hurt by personal jokes, it all too easy for the person laughing to say "you're being over-sensitive" because that puts the guilt back on the other person. Don't fall for it. I think you should expect better from your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 March 2012):
 other than saying you look like an eggplant, which is insulting I can't see why you are so upset.
are you under 5 feet? do you need blocks to drive? I am just short of needing blocks on the pedals to drive and I'm 5'2"... I'm teeny tiny... folks threaten to carry me around in their pockets...
Learn to embrace your petite tiny stature... I find most men find the need to be overly protective of me... and it makes it easy for them to help me up....
do you think perhaps you are feeling overly sensitive about it because you don't like being so small? I know I didn't like being so little and "cute" for the longest time.
Granted, your BF should have not made fun of you....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2012): I think it's a combination of your boyfriend being ignorant to fact your height is too sensitive an issue for you and you being a little too sensitive about something you're insecure about.
OP it's not just a guy thing as AuntyEm states, my girlfriend is always cracking jokes about me with her friends and telling me about them. I'm quite short and I'm bald and they love to joke around about those things, they're not insulting me they're joking about me in terms of endearment. Her friends like me, they feel comfortable joking and laughing about and with me. It's meant in fun and not in a malicious way so I have no problem with it. I have no problem joking about my girlfriend with my friends either, she was wearing heels the other day for example and tripped over, she was highly embarrassed too but we all thought it was hilarious.
Are you overreacting? Answer these questions to yourself. Do he and his friends dislike and not respect you? Was what they said meant to be malicious and hurtful? Do they know how insecure you are about your height? If the answer to those questions is no then yes you're overreacting because they weren't teasing you, they were making an innocent joke.
That said if this is something you don't like, if making jokes about your height bothers you, then let them know that. Tell them it's something you are sensitive about and would rather they didn't joke about and I'm sure they'll be more than happy to not approach that topic again and when your boyfriend knows what it means to you he won't let people joke about it anymore.
If on the other hand you just don't want people making jokes about you behind your back then that's your right but I would try and lighten up a bit, surely you like to joke about your friends too. Jokes are a way a lot of us express our affection, respect and like for someone. The fact they were talking about you and he felt free to tell you means they view you in a positive way. You're not a laughing stock, you're someone they probably care about and respect. They weren't talking bad about you. Just probably didn't know how sensitive you are on that topic.
Why did he laugh? He probably thought it was funny, but will no longer think it's funny if he knows how hurtful it was.
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A
male
reader, Hugh.J +, writes (30 March 2012):
 Unforgivable.
"AuntyEm" gives him the excuse of "mateship" when with his friends, but if he isn't big enough to support you whatever the circumstances, is he for you?
What is wrong with being short, anyway? Good things come in small packages and you should be proud of, not reticent about, your dimensions.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 March 2012):
 No you arn't being sensitive. I don't think any of us would wanna be the butt of someones joke...especially when we arn't even there to defend ourselves. Your boyfriend did that typical guy thing, where he didn't wanna look an idiot in front of his buddies, so he laughed along. He was also a monumental jerk for telling you about the 'joke'.
I do suspect, however, that if anymore jokes are said about you...he won't take it so well next time.
You can also defend yourself, so if someone talks bad about you in future, tell them straight that its not on.
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A
male
reader, Cole Turner  +, writes (30 March 2012):
 In these situations when he is with friends it is too easy to just laugh along with them without thinking about any else's feelings. He is not likely to think this himself he was just trying to fit in. In terms of being over sensitive you have every rite to be defensive about being teased but it is unlikely anyone meant any offensive. Be the bigger person and move on! :)
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