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male
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*ashingdan
writes: Hi, I'm 16 and I'm in a long distance relationship. I met my girlfriend on holiday and a week after we was going out. Since then we have been with each other 3 times and we are getting along great, but the problem I'm having is I can't speak to her on the phone and I don't know why!
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reader, pops +, writes (24 November 2005):
The problem is that you are 16, and are probably too young to be having a girlfriend. You are a little short in the self confidence department. Because of distance, you can't exactly talk to her about what the two of you want to do the next day, or even next week. Talk to her about her day, her likes and dislikes, and tell her about yours. If you read or see something that interests you, ask her what she thinks about the matter. The purpose of talking is to better know each other. That included knowing how you think, feel, what you are interested in as hobbies or extra-curricular activities, what you have done, what you have not done etc. Talking about these kinds of things will tell you a lot about her, and cement the relationship. She will not know as much about other boys she meets, and comparing then to you, you are more likely to come out on top. That trust is what will help you build confidence in this relationship,and give you self confidence.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2005): You obviosly realy like this girl, you may like her to the point that you are getting yourself het up about chatting to her on the phone. There are some things that may help-Write down a list of things that you havent told her since your last conversation, then you will always have something to say..If you dont feel this will work then let her know that you find it difficult. You are obviosly computer literate so how about chatting online instead? just a suggestion!Some people are nto good on the phone, but as they say, paractice makes perfect, if it is chatting on the phone in general then try chatting to people you know well - maybe paeople in your family to build your confidence. If non of this works- letters are always lovely to receive.Good luck sweetie
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