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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm very confused. I've been friends with this guy for about four months now. Last month I asked are we going to remain friends or are we going take our friendship to the next level. He told me he doesn't know what he wants to do. I was fine with that and I looked at it as we're strictly friends.I talked with him the other day and he asked me why am I rejecting him and he feels he needs to move on because I don't want to have sex or cuddle with him. The thing is, if we are 'friends' as he calls it, why should we become emotionally involved with each other?I do care about him but I don't want him to hurt me. I need to know is he confused, afraid or does he want to have the advantages of a relationship and not the commitment of one?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2005): Well, I think guys assume that if you are around them or talk to them a lot that you are autmaticaly bf and gf. I am not sure that this is true with every guy though. Or maybe he just changed his mind. It couldnt hurt to become intiment. If he wont give you a strait up awnser then maybe he just wants sex and not a relationship. Just do what you think is right.
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reader, pops +, writes (24 November 2005):
So, ask him! He may not have made up his mind, because he has not asked himself those questions. Ask him. Use that as a basis for a longer discussion on what he is looking for in your relationship, what he wants out of it, what he is willing to give to it, what you want out of a relationship. Even telling him that you don't want to become emotionally involved with him by having sex with him if there is no future in the relationship will tell him a lot he should be thinking about. There is a first time for everyone, and I suspect this is his first. Be firm, but be nice. Some of the best marriage begin with being friends, first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2005): No wonder your confused- this Guy doesnt seem to know what he wants- my intial advice to you is to hold of emotionaly from this guy.....He is giving you mixed messages which is not doing you any good. He may be all 2 things that you suggested- the only way you are going to get a real answer from this is to take the plunge and ask him sweetie, try not too get too involved- if he carnt answer you - you deserve to be treated with more respect - i suggest if this arrises - you should stay friends only - YOU are the most important person in all of this. Honesty is the best policy in this situationGood luck Honney!
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