A
male
age
36-40,
*nonymous90
writes:My gf had a past. she had her ex for 4 yrs. even after being in relationship with me, she cheated me behind my back.she used to enjoy with another guy who was attractive and was her college mate.I made her realise her mistake on time.Now when she has no one with her,she is fully into me and loves me like anything.But i am not able to forget what happened.Past was past. but I was cheated even when I was her boy friend.I always feel she will cheat me again when she again gets another attractive guy.she lost all my devotion.god knows why im still with her. I get really pissed off when I remember the cheat.and by this,many a times I get angry which makes both of us unhappy. Can anyone plz tell me what to do.My frustration is increasing day by day.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): Leave. It's as simple as that. The one thing I can guarantee you is that once your partner cheated on you, your relationship will be haunted by anger, pain, mistrust, and abuse for years. The decision to leave is hard. I know it, I've been in your shoes. Once you make it, you will find out that the grass is greener on the other side as you actually thought it was. Leave and give yourself sometime. Ask yourself why did you allow this girl to do that to you and why you decided to stay? Is it that you have esteem issues? You like drama? You like to be abused? Answer yourself why you decided to stay and work on it.
A
female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 She cheated, you accepted her back but the trust is gone. The answer is simple, if you cannot trust her, you have to end it because you are unhappy.
If you work on building the trust between you then there is a chance you could make this work.
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A
male
reader, $izZle +, writes (29 July 2011):
 I agree with Chickpea and I suggest that you take it a little slow coz its very hard to co-op with but not impossible. I know its like a broken record playing in your head over and over again but remember this you need a lot of patience, faith and learn to let go... I wont promise that it will happen over night or in a few days or months but I will promise you this with time you will learn to accept her and forgive her for what she made you go through ...I know the pain you are going through when you remember the experience and all the guys... but think how much you love her and say "I forgive you" I know its hard to say in the beginning over time the pricking feeling in your heart will subside... talk to her tell her that you need her help to deal with this in a diplomatic manner she will appreciate your efforts and help you heal :)
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (29 July 2011):
 Hi,
The only way you'll start feeling better is to have a honest talk with her... Many will suggest professional help, but if you cannot affort, you need to talk, have her answer all your questions, whatever is inside of you and make her promise you that this won't happen again.
Cheating in a relationship is very traumatic event, its difficult to recover and will need a lot patience, love, devotion, compassion, understanding from both partners.
How you are feeling right now is completely normal, the emotions go away and come back, anger, feeling of betrayal, its like a movie playing in your head over and over again. Somedays are better than others, but time goes by and you still in the same place. So, basically talking is the only way.
Wait for the right place, right time, right mood to approach her. Its important that as much as you are in pain and anger, you cannot accuse, be angry or force her to do anything she's not willing to. We both know she's not perfect, but I am sure this must be difficult for her too. I am sure she's embarassed, ashamed, you know she's weak and dishonest. Its hard for any human being to admit their mistakes. So, even though you are the victim here, you have to be patience with her.
Remember, this issue is not about you or your looks. Its deeper, its about her integrity, morals, insecurities, past experiences, family issues, childhood, so as much as you need help to get over this feelings, specially the anger, your girlfriend need your help too...
Hope this helps...
Good luck!
Ps: it also might help searching for websites in regards to cheating, betrayal, infidelity. For better understanding, how to deal and how to approach your girlfriend.
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