A
female
age
30-35,
*il-chloe
writes:I'm 14 and pregnant. I'm due in December. But... I don't know who the father is. It could be one of two people. My boyfriend who has stood by me or my friends cousin who i had a one night stand with. My boyfriend can't wait, but if the baby isn't his i don't know how i would tell him. Also my friends cousin has been told he can't have kids, but you hear storys where people actually get pregnant. My hormones are all over the place. What should i do?
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female
reader, vix08tyler +, writes (4 January 2009):
hi i was in a similar boat as you, but i was 18 when i had my son, in some poeples eyes its still young, but i knew i was making the rite decission, as you probably did. as it was getting closer to my sons birth the anxiety of not knowning who was his father was putting my under an to imnense amount of pressure, the person i thought was his father say didnt want to know from day 1 so i knew i was doing it on my own from the start, but as you can gather, we had a text done and it turned out he wasnt, yeh it broke both of our hearts, but it was something that need to been known, i still dont know if this other person is my son father as he wont do a test.
my advise to you would be that you need to know reali for your piece of mind and so you know what to say to your baby when he or she is older, i know its horrible even thinking about it, and i was extremely ashamed about what i had done, but if i hadn of done it, i wouldnt of ended up with gorgous little man that i have got.
the main thing you need to think about is you and your new baby and thats it, it will be hard but trust me u will get through it.
i hope everything went well.
i did buy paternity test from a company called whoz the daddy, before the other man decided he wasnt interested, i have still got it, if you still need 1!
A
female
reader, anon642 +, writes (5 October 2008):
 Hi, all i can advise is getting a DNA test when the baby is born :)
And if it turns out your boyfriend is not the dad, try not to worry too much, just calmly sit him down and tell him, after all, you all need to know the truth. You need to know for your baby, your baby needs to know who its biological dad is and the dad needs to know that they are actually a dad.
All the best!
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A
female
reader, lil-chloe +, writes (5 October 2008):
lil-chloe is verified as being by the original poster of the question All those people who have slagged me off. My boyfriend knows it might not be his. And i was on the pill and we used a condom.
Thank you to all those who gave helpful answers.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Worse things have happened! And those that are lecturing you are just being rude. You made a big mistake. Oh well its done. Focus on being healthy and enjoy the gift of a baby, even if you are young, unplanned and scary. You can and will get through this, you will be a stronger person for your experience.
if you sleept with these people that close wait until the baby is born and have a DNA test. Fess up now that you are unsure who the father is. These two young men need to know that parenthood could be a reality for them in the near future.
Accept that one or both of them may flip and that your childs father may not be helpful or involved. Thats reality but you can still be a good mother and make it work.
If you are planning on keeping your baby (im assuming you are) get on the ball and see what resources are available to you. daycare assistance (you must finish school, and go to college. It will be hard but you can do it!) WIC, healthcare, etc. Find some baby resale shops so you can get the baby items you need for your baby. Used is a great way to save money. Find a job, you will need an income to help support the two of you, and gather a support group (family and friends, maybe evn a professional counselor). Having a baby is tough, regardless of your situation!
Look for a pregnancy resource center in your area. Most cities and towns have one! Check out Leleche League- breast feeding, and the cloth diapering options (these seem like ol' school practices but they are best for your baby and cheap on you wallet!)
Start reading and researching the kind of Mom you want to be. And take care of yourself, enjoy life and it will work out! Be brave young lady you can do it!
You just tell anyone judgemental to shut up and mind their own damn buisness!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): Assuming you have already told your mother and you are under a doctors care there is nothing you can do. When the baby comes tell her you slept with two guys and your not sure about the father. Ask her to arrange a DNA test for you. If your "boyfriend" won't wait to find out, he's not likely to wait around and support you until the baby grows up. There is nothing you can do, my dear, except to wait until the baby is born.
Assuming you had more morals than to sleep with them both, without a condom within the same week, you could also tell your doctor the dates you had sex, the dates of your periods, and they might be able to work it out for you. But the only way to be sure is to take the DNA test.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008): well for a start i think you are a silly little girl for having a ''one night stand'' with your friends cousin WITHOUT using contraception,you should even be using some method of contraception with your boyfriend!! you are only 14 and pregnant? your not even the legal age to be having sex aswell. once your baby is born you should get a DNA test to see who the biological father is,you CANNOT bring up a baby having doubts who the father could be!! NEXT TIME USE A CONDOM,GET ON THE PILL,GET THE CONTRACEPTIVE IMPLANT WHICH LASTS 3 YEARS!!
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